I feel sick to my core

When I remember your tender eyes

Your tender hands 

Your kisses 

Your smile 

I feel sick to my core

Remembering places and feelings

Excitement

Pulsing

I cannot even understand 

How you were never mine

How you loved but didn’t

How you ghosted every time 

And even though I wish

I had never laid eyes on you 

I wish more 

That you could have loved me 

I don’t understand 

I cannot understand 

That you didn’t 

How could you have loved me

The way you did so fully

But not loved me?