Whifts of a long lost scent
Aroused my senses.
We were there, you and I –
In an all too brief
Moment.
I breathed you in without
Thinking and only feeling.
With nostalgia and an
Inexplicable longing
I breathe you out.

Whifts of a long lost scent
Aroused my senses.
We were there, you and I –
In an all too brief
Moment.
I breathed you in without
Thinking and only feeling.
With nostalgia and an
Inexplicable longing
I breathe you out.
I remember
Being so young of age I could count
My years on one of my hands
My teacher was gone for the day
So we joined our classmates next door
My teacher was gone
My safety net for a day
I counted the minutes tick by
I ran out of fingers
And then
I ran
Out of hands.
I’m trying my best
I’m shutting my mind
I’m reading a book
I’m eating sweet cake.
Anything to qualm
These pesky annoying sweet
Butterflies
Flying
Flapping
Flickering
Inside of me.
An uninvited
Stranger
Stealthily tiptoed
Across my
Unsuspecting
Vision.
I’m tormented.
I was born in South Africa, at a time where black meant darkness and white implied light and there was nothing in between bar a peeping rainbow trying to needle it’s way through a steely curtain of conflict and confusion.
Despair.
I grew up on rich african soil, where golden treasures were awash with rivers of blood. I breathed the warm air and my skin suffered the sun’s wrath when it was caught unaware.
I witnessed injustice when my best friend and I were denied a simple pleasure of shared coffee for her face was too dark and mine
Was fair.
We were bound together for a forced separation could never deny the power of friendship.
Ever.
I was blessed by Africa. By the soul, the sound, the constant beating of drums coursing through my veins.
I felt the raw fear of raging summer thunderstorms. Clouds as mountains, ominous and oppressive.
Threatening destruction.
And then.
And then.
I came of age on a crisp clear morn. When I joined an endless queue – rainbows of joyous smiles, and shining eyes and hours and years and decades of patience. Confusion yielded to fusions of vibrance and anticipation. With ribbons of hope and peace and opportunity intertwined. From each individual equal ballot, emerged a rising dawn and from it
Victory.
My country that had been tied up and captured in chains was brought to
Liberty.
And so the pain I suffered lifetimes ago
Buried far beneath ten layers of snow
Simmered and stewed and viciously grew
An explosion came as it threatened to do
The band was ripped and all laid bare
My pain is raw, love was never fair
Cloaked in a sheen of
Vulnerability.
Obscuring hidden scars unseen
Before a blinking eye –
Or shocked murmur could
Escape.
Her cloth was yanked aside
Exposed!
Not everything was lost.
For past the steaming horror
Of uninvited eyes
A tapestry of beauty
Expressions of life and colour and love and pain and strife
Quietly shyly
But with a growing confidence
Emerged.
I gave myself
For cheap slivers of silver
I sold myself
To the lowest bidder
I fought a weakness that is too
Strong
I battled a nature I could not
Quell
Before I could trip my own self up I simply –
I simply gave it all up
I simply and hopelessly
Fell.
Alone I sit
Conflicting thoughts for company
I hear the laughter I hear the sounds
Of lovers, partners, friend and family
While fish in ponds before me splash
I breathe the air I breathe the peace
I exhale those longings that take hold
With a merciless strangulation
Around my soul
I exhale it all.
At the very edge I sit
As the streaming waters flow
Reflections of the day abound
Settling on a rippled plain
Moon and stars share their
Glistening lights below
Caressing my heart
My mind
My soul