I’m feeling unsettled

Insecure it may seem

Past trauma has surfaced

A very bad dream.

Stuck in a limbo

No way through or out

If no escape I can find

I will scream, yell and shout!!

Don’t leave me please don’t leave me I pray

Your silence tortures me

I beg you to stay!

Oh please please please love me and this is my pain

Right here this child inside neglected, ignored

I was not good enough, not cool enough

I was never the one

I feel it now the rejection runs strong

It’s trapped inside it’s trapped within

Lodged under my skin.

It’s been a long time since I’ve felt that flutter. That aching in my heart. The anticipation of seeing you again. Eyes meeting eyes. The blush, the butterflies. You are so wrong for me and yet, dammit, you are in my head and your eyes are making my heart beat. I saw you today. Will I see you tomorrow?

What is it about you that has invaded my thoughts my mind my imagination my desires my fantasies

Step outside to freedom

A small chance to take

Loose your hold on comfort

You will find the gold

Courage not forsaken

Only time will tell

Privilege awaits you

When you step outside your

Zone.

Icy winds rattled glass windows

Dogs howled misery at the relentless moon

My eyes grew heavy until eventually there

Was nothing left bar a tiny seed, very tiny send of

Hope