It was too much I could not ask
Of more than you I had
You were so warm for one short hour
Now all the warmth is gone
Snow is cold my lips are blue
Yet still my heart cries out –
Still I know the you I crave
Is frozen into ice
Warm Hands
Tender hands so warm
Placed upon my hungry skin
Yours are all I need
Jealousy
silent predator
slithering into my heart
eating me alive
My Own
So many years
To battle the show
So many years
To never let go
So many tears
To slide down my face
So many tears
I will have you know
That now is the time
To claim as –
To claim as my
Own.
So Many Days
So many days I willed a call
A knock on my soft unbroken willing heart
That touch, that look I so desired
Never arrived –
It never was.
Trapped
I’m feeling unsettled
Insecure it may seem
Past trauma has surfaced
A very bad dream.
Stuck in a limbo
No way through or out
If no escape I can find
I will scream, yell and shout!!
Don’t leave me please don’t leave me I pray
Your silence tortures me
I beg you to stay!
Oh please please please love me and this is my pain
Right here this child inside neglected, ignored
I was not good enough, not worth enough
I was never the one
I feel it now the rejection runs strong
It’s trapped inside it’s trapped within
Lodged under my skin.
Anticipation
It’s been a long time since I’ve felt that flutter. That aching in my heart. The anticipation of seeing you again. Eyes meeting eyes. The blush, the butterflies. You are so wrong for me and yet, dammit, you are in my head and your eyes are making my heart beat. I saw you today. Will I see you tomorrow?
invasion
What is it about you that has invaded my thoughts my mind my imagination my desires my fantasies
Find Your Voice
I’m having a bad hair day, said I. Not only that but a bad shoe day as well, and in general I’m having a bad day.
Find your voice, I was told. I never knew my voice was lost, thought I.
And so it was, and so it is, the cycle repeats and my fears arise. My eyes are the first to react. My tightening heart forces the tears to form. Watery pools surface the lens of my sight. I’m triggered and I know it and feel it. I’m living my fear and that’s okay.
I will live it and allow it to be.
I love me.
Nurture
The winds have carried me here
Wrapped gently in their nurturing arms
Nowhere to run nowhere to hide
Just a peaceful quiet
To lay me down.
