Oxymoron

I feel sick to my core

When I remember your tender eyes

Your tender hands 

Your kisses 

Your smile 

I feel sick to my core

Remembering places and feelings

Excitement

Pulsing

I cannot even understand 

How you were never mine

How you loved but didn’t

How you ghosted every time 

And even though I wish

I had never laid eyes on you 

I wish more 

That you could have loved me 

I don’t understand 

I cannot understand 

That you didn’t 

How could you have loved me

The way you did so fully

But not loved me?

I love you

And I don’t care if you know it, because all I do is write poetry and books and blogs and not even tell you, and what is my life worth anyway if I can’t even tell you how I feel, and I loved you from when I first set eyes on you and you took my breath away, and I loved you from when I traced my fingers over your lips and you kissed me in the sweetest moment, and I loved every moment that we spent alone together, and in the end I hated the ghosting, and it’s over now, and I still 

Love you 

I Miss Him

I thought I saw him today but I was mistaken, but before I was mistaken I felt that jolt in my stomach of butterflies, and then I thought I heard him and this time I was not mistaken, he appeared out of nowhere all cheerful and with people and then disappeared again so quickly, he never greeted and I never greeted, and my heart is broken, the pieces are scattered all over the floor because I simply 

Miss him