In my younger days, especially in those when I began work as an IBM graduate, I had no idea of who I was or where I would like to be.
I remember attending a conference where we heard about vision. The difference between having dreams and a vision. A vision is more concrete. It has a plan. Steps to take. I remember feeling disheartened. I had no dreams or visions. I had no idea where I wanted to be. I wanted some day to be married with children. I wanted to be a wife and mother. And that was about it.
Looking back, I have been blessed in what I wished for. I’m a wife and mother. And I know more about myself now than I ever did. I love to draw. I love to create. I love to write. I love to achieve. And I have tenacity.
Hopefully I still have a few more days left. I still don’t have much of a vision. But I know I want to achieve. I want to be the best I can be. The best designer, the best writer, the best software developer, the best person I can be.
After three years of constant poetry, photography and general blogging, I have taken a big step today. I have written and published my very first ‘technical’ article on LinkedIn. I always wanted to write one but never knew what to write.
If anyone is on LinkedIn, please do view my article and like it! It would mean so much as a first step in my technical writing journey!
Love and blessings
Never standing still.
Living in harmony.
Bad impromptu decision making vonita-style, sourced two on-the-day tickets to Adele in Sydney, no babysitter at such short notice, changed other plans, spare ticket to go, so my eleven-year old and myself are on our way to Adele Live Sydney, here we come!
As a pet time-filler, I decided to follow Trump on twitter and read some of his tweets.
What astounds me is how utterly mean-spirited he is. It is very important that he is bigger, better, best (even when he is not), and everyone else is dirt. Unless of course they follow him, adore him, and do what he says. There are no words of encouragement, no trying to lift people up, just put down as hard as he can and glorify his horrid, despicable self.
Question is, how is such a personality created? Are they born with same. Is it parenting. Life situations?
In days past, whenever I have asked for God’s help and help has appeared, it has always been an ‘effortless’ help.
Everything has just fallen so easily into place. Moving countries was effortless. Sure I had my part to play, had to pack everything up, and get organized, but the whole process was effortless. Work appeared, houses appeared, all the help we needed when we needed it, appeared. There was no struggle. There was no resistance.
The same when I met my husband. I prayed and prayed to meet one person in the world that would love me. And when it happened, it was effortless. I didn’t have to fight and scream and go through turmoil, it was just easy and peaceful. And effortless.
For a few years I have been feeling unsettled inside. Not knowing where to go or what to do. I have failed miserably at a few things I have attempted, had my self-esteem and confidence destroyed, and felt hopeless and even worthless.
But I realize, with God’s help the change that I need will happen, and it will happen effortlessly. I won’t need to jump through hoops, perform all manner of party tricks, or sell my soul for something to happen. It will just be. In God’s perfect time and way, and when it happens, it whatever way it manifests, I will be willing.
I cannot say I am big on plans. My personality is way too passive for plan-making. Usually I just drift along, waiting for life to happen, and hoping (and praying) for the best. Generally it has worked okay for me. It has given me my not-too-shabby life, but not an-overly-exciting life either. Just a bit of a comfort-zone-type of life. With poetry (and writing in general) being my very-much-needed outlet (yay for poetry). I digress. Sometimes, plans are good.
In their place. Because you know what they say about plans. (Actually, what do they say about plans? BRB, Google is my friend). Got it, this is what they say about plans:
Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.
Well, atm I am busy making plans. Oh, there is something else they say about plans:
Plans are nothing, planning is everything.
So this is getting a bit deep. What I really want to say is this.
Sometimes we really need a plan. Or at least I really need a plan. Something tangible I can obsess about. Keep me up at night. Distract me. And I have a plan(!).
Because everyone at some point in their lives needs a plan (my quote, you’re welcome)
I signed up for a Udemy course (yay Udemy, yay Max Schwarzmuller, yay Angular2). About 18 hours of knockout material to keep me busy, learning, upskilling, and generally being distracted. Of course 18 hours will be morphing into about 180, but sometimes needs must. And then we will make further plans from there. Or at least start knocking on doors. And hoping for doors to open. Not just any windows or doors. The right doors. To open. Right doors are key!
I went on an interview once. It was our first year of marriage and we were on vacation in the U.K. A friend of mine managed to secure for me an interview at a British-based firm. One thing about me. I can always get the job done. But sometimes I need external sources. Use what I can with what I have. Google. Books. Peers. Whatever. That’s what resources are there for. To be used. Because resources.
This particular interview went particularly bad. Perhaps, in a way, they were trying to sift the English-speakers from the not-so-English speakers. Because I had to do a test. And one of the questions was, explain a paper clip. Now, I could see the paper clip in my mind, I could see how it should be used, but for the life of me, I could not at the time figure out how, even in my native language, to explain a paper clip? Words failed. Completely. A thin piece of wire twisted and turned and coiled to hold paper together? Nah, nope, not happening.
Next question. What is the value of pi. Omigosh! I learnt math at school and was good at it, but that was many years ago, and right now, right here, on vacation, without google (in fact, this was pre-google days) I could not think of the correct value of pi. 22 divide by 7? And approximate to something? Words fail.
So it is with great pleasure that my son is able to recite pi correctly to the 120th decimal point. Winning the class competition and chocolates to do so. It might be a small achievement. But at least for a mother who failed miserably at some random interview test (thereby not getting the job or opportunity to move to the UK), there is a son who definitely knows his pi.