Standing Up

I am free from the past

I am free from the pain 

I am free from your charms

I am free from your arms 

I am free from the rollercoaster 

The pain and the joys 

The ups and the downs

And the highs and the lows 

The buckle opened up 

I took a step off 

And after the fall

I wept on the floor 

I wept and I prayed 

I wept and I pained 

And when it was over 

For over it was

I stood back up

I gave it my all

I am standing again 

I am standing 

Once more


What is it about closure that is so satisfying

Is it the pain that stabbed when I 

Read the one line I never wanted to read

The painful words I never wanted to hear

The brutal rejection that cut through me

The psychotic behavior that forced a result 

That pushed your boundaries and 

Pushed until finally you could take no more

Until finally you could take a stand

Until finally all the superficial niceties 

The false fake sweet kind words 


Fell away 

And all that remained was a defiant 

Rejection of all things that are me 

What is it that is so satisfying 

That shuts me down 

That stills my conflict 

And allows me to rest?

I wish I knew 

I wish it wasn’t so

But now it’s over

I am full with a perverse satisfaction

That bears no apologetic shame 

And finally I can


Strands of Dust

The sweetest

Cruel addiction broke me apart 

Leaving me with the lingering taste

Of a forbidden kiss

Craving more I turned on you 

Turned on everything we had before 

And now I’m broken

Torn in two

There’s nothing left for me to do

But tie my hands 

And seal my mouth

Slice my fingers 

And still my tongue 

I ache 

I crave 

I desire 

I lust 

And at the end 

There’s nothing left 

There’s nothing left 

But grainy sand 

A shattered rock 

And strands of