On Friday I encountered two situations that would have triggered meltdowns. Not one meltdown, but I would have gone straight from one into another. Things that happened that are my trigger points for sure. Those situations – a comment from someone, a fear of missing out, of rejection, of abandonment came rushing to the fore.
But I am healed and healing. If I ever wondered if I needed to be on medication, now I can testify how much it has helped. I was able to acknowledge those situations, identify that they are trigger points for me, that they would have had power over me in the previous days, and set them aside. Continue with my day.
I have been reduced so many times in the past to tears. The trigger points that invoke a pain inside that shortcut any rational thought. I would be overcome. But on Friday I was not overcome. And it felt good. Empowering.
He respected me enough to walk away when I asked him to. To not use and abuse me anymore. And that is a good thing. Past hurts are monuments of risk. On taking the chance of something better. Of being vulnerable and open and alive. Scars show we bleed. And scars show we heal.
Bleeding and healing go together. It is life. Without either we would be dead.