The Anti-Butterfly

Vonita

knife

what doesn’t give me butterflies (fiction writing)

when we are intimate
and a week later you put your arm around your wife
in front of me

when you tell me
I should have married my first partner
omitting that you were actually married to her

when we are intimate
and then I am told (after you undressed yourself)
I only wanted coffee

when we are intimate
and then you become a ghost
for days, weeks and months

when we are intimate
and you never once say my name
as if I don’t have one

when you close the door
using some arbitrary lie as an excuse
then open it five days later

when you engage me for work
and forget to say thank you
when I am in time and on budget

when you crawl out the woodwork
with some random conversation
as if you’d never disappeared at all

all these words and deeds and actions
do not give me butterflies in my tummy
but instead, are a knife through my heart

fight or flight?
I choose to fly away from you
back to me

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/fight/

22 thoughts on “The Anti-Butterfly”

      1. I’ve been there three times… Sometimes I wonder if it’s really possible for them to be faithful… The testosterone thing… Hmm.. I know women cheat, as well, but the percentage for a male spouse is greater. At least, when i use to be consumed by a cheating spouse, i read everything I could get my hands on about the reasons, why, the percentages, etc…

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      2. I’m sorry to hear that. Was it three times with the same man? (If I may take liberty to ask!) Did you find any answers to your questions? Who was willing to cheat with him, that’s what I want to know!

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      3. Three different husbands… I did find some answers and I’ve put them to rest for the most part. I can talk about this issue without emotion and have accepted it for a sad fact about many marriages.

        But, what I’ve learned is that I be at a party of social event and see behaviors that suggest all is not right in a marriage or relationship. I pick up that really quickly, except in my own relationships..

        I stay away now from allowing any romantic situation to arise…

        That part is sad, but I haven’t healed all the way…

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      4. I can understand after three times with three husbands you would be very cautious. What type of behaviors would you pick up on, if I may ask? Body language, perhaps?

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      5. A big signal became, sneaky behaviors when one isn’t looking and vagueness about the person in question. What was very odd was the last one would say terrible things about the willing person, like call them a fat pig, or say, they’re uglier that dirt… Later, I learned if he said a negative about a woman, that was a major smokescreen.

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      8. Vonita, I didn’t see your last question.. Basically it was women that were “friends,” or a secretary, or someone they met while cruising on a ship alone (with a parent) but for the greatest part were common friends.

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      10. There are no reasons to feel bad about posting this poem. This happens everyday to people in a relationship. Some people tolerate this in a marriage, and if thats their gig, then go for it, but I am traditional in my dears for a marriage… I realize there are worst situations than cheating. The spouse could be an abuser physically. But, we all have expectations for a future with someone.

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      14. OH!!! One funny thing after watching The Bachelor and the final rose…
        Do you watch it? LOL.. I call it mindless TV, no thinking needed..

        What struck me funny as this latest bachelor was “in love with 2 final contestants” until the last day where he had to make a decision…

        MAJOR RED FLAG!!!

        A man who can “love” two women at once is a sure sign… RUN and RUN like HADES!

        Just a bit of humor… Cause life is interesting and we learn all the way!

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      15. I have watched the Australian version of the bachelor but only the US version many years ago. The Australian version has been quite successful over three seasons, matching up three couples thought the second season the bachelor chose one girl, dropped her afterwards and chose one runner up. But it worked out quite well as the dropped winner became the first Australian bachelorette and met the man of her dreams, making a fourth couple, out of four shows!

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  3. I feel sad but can relate to a man or woman who may not fully be true and faithful. The repeated words were very good, they helped to express the important part of the poem and story unfolding. I don’t understand how or why someone can be “intimate” yet walk away. It does feel like a knife through the heart. Hugs, Robin

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    1. I don’t understand it either Robin, and I know this topic is very sensitive, it can affect many people and families quite profoundly, so I was a bit hesitant to post it, as some might read it as auto-biographical and with judgment, that is why I added fiction writing. It is just something that I felt the need to express.

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