Not Falling Far

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “I’ve Become My Parents.”

Do you ever find yourself doing something your parents used to do when you were a kid, despite the fact you hated it back then?

My mother was the nurturer and carer in my childhood home. My father was the disciplinarian, and has a short temper. I knew to behave around him and speak with respect. No back-chatting or arguing. He would not tolerate it. I am scared of men even today. I had to choose a life-partner who did not display a temper. Because my mother was soft-natured I could get away with more. And as children are, they learn boundaries and push those boundaries where they know they can. I kept to myself at home, my sister used to help prepare the evening meal and chat about her day with our mother. I would listen in, write in my journal, and focus on my schoolwork. Not really sharing much.
I thought when I grew up I would naturally be a mother like my own. But I realized quickly I am more like my father. I discipline my children. I do not tolerate disrespect. I have a shorter fuse than my husband. My husband is the nurturer. He reads the bed time stories. He tries new recipes. He is constant and calm. My mother was the rock holding our family together, and my husband is the same. I am still wrapped up in my own world, writing on my blog, or being pre-occupied with work, or fantasy-land or whatever is on my mind.
My daughter and I are on the same wavelength. She chats to me all the time. My son seems to be more like me when I was growing up. Just being there, but not sharing much. I can see that part of myself reflected in him. And I know there’s nothing I can do to change it.

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7 thoughts on “Not Falling Far

  1. What an interesting analysis of your family dynamics. Since I do’t have children, I’ve never really subjected myself to this anylysis, although my husband did have 8 children I spent a good deal of time around. Yes, I did find myself reacting at times like my mother did. I think we can’t help patterning ourselves against those we spend a lot of time with–family or friends. Enjoyed your essay.
    http://judydykstrabrown.com/2015/09/20/generational-drift/

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I enjoyed reading your insights about the similarities within ourselves as they occur in our parents and our children. 🙂 I have often indulged in pondering that subject within my family and in connection with my children and husband.

    Liked by 1 person

      • As I’ve been learning – fairly new to blogging – there’s enjoyment in getting to read the variety of posts from people I follow and also new people who pop up. And then there’s added joy in including comments on posts that touch me in some way and thereby getting to connect with the writer on a different level. So satisfying. 🙂 It means a lot to me, too, when people take the time and share their thoughts with me.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Ahh, ..roles. Are they needed?

    From your words on this wonderful blog my sense is that you have realized much about the Reality of Nurturing and the Value of Discipline. Obviously a need for both and don’t they spring from the same Source? As for temperament…well maybe we could look to the Great Redwood Trees on this planet for direction. Hahaha!

    Sweet words Vonita. Have a beautiful day!

    Liked by 1 person

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