Psychotic

What is it about closure that is so satisfying

Is it the pain that stabbed when I 

Read the one line I never wanted to read

The painful words I never wanted to hear

The brutal rejection that cut through me

The psychotic behavior that forced a result 

That pushed your boundaries and 

Pushed until finally you could take no more

Until finally you could take a stand

Until finally all the superficial niceties 

The false fake sweet kind words 

Evaporated 

Fell away 

And all that remained was a defiant 

Rejection of all things that are me 

What is it that is so satisfying 

That shuts me down 

That stills my conflict 

And allows me to rest?

I wish I knew 

I wish it wasn’t so

But now it’s over

I am full with a perverse satisfaction

That bears no apologetic shame 

And finally I can

Heal.