it wasn’t enough

that i had all i ever dreamed of

it wasn’t enough

that i had

a partner

a child

a home

it wasn’t enough

that i was always employed

always healthy

always having a place to go

it wasn’t enough

that i never had

one day of hunger

one night of cold

one day of heat

one night of wanting

one day of going without

the heart is always hungry

always wanting

always craving

always demanding

always seeking

always dreaming

always wishing

nothing was

nothing is

nothing ever will be


Feeling Inadequate

We all have pressure points, soft spots, triggers that invoke feelings within us. This past week I have been having a few of my pressure points being pushed, invoking a sense of sadness within me. Feelings of inadequacy. Lowering my mood, and preventing peace. Today I went and sat at the harbor and just allowed myself to be still. To honor those feelings within that sadden me. I listened to a busker playing his guitar. Allowed the notes to flow through me. It felt so therapeutic. Just to be in the moment, and to be.

Circle of Life

Full House ran for all the years I was in high school through my university years. I used to watch it every week. I remember clearly being on vacation at my grandmother in Cape Town, I was twenty at the time, and the theme song came on. My grandmother came through from the kitchen, and sat down to watch it. She loved Michelle!

So I couldn’t resist watching the new release Fuller House, even for old times sake. Well, I’m a sucker for nostalgia, so must admit for all its faults, I still enjoy seeing the original characters, even though they are now grown up. Though just not the same without Michelle, my grandmother’s favorite character. I guess she just moved on.

And it was strange watching with my daughter this time around. The loved ones in my world have been taken from me, and new ones been given.