I was addicted
To a love that never was
Waiting for your touch
Craving each discarded crumb
My highs and lows diverting pain
The rejection I feared with all my soul
Rejection I forced into being
The rejection that finally gave way
To peace
To me
To the deep well of love
Overflowing
The love inside of me
Tag recovery
Standing Up
I am free from the past
I am free from the pain
I am free from your charms
I am free from your arms
I am free from the rollercoaster
The pain and the joys
The ups and the downs
And the highs and the lows
The buckle opened up
I took a step off
And after the fall
I wept on the floor
I wept and I prayed
I wept and I pained
And when it was over
For over it was
I stood back up
I gave it my all
I am standing again
I am standing
Once more
I am Free
Nothing more to say
Nothing more to do
Nothing more to ponder
Nothing more to ask
The chain is broken
The lock is cracked
It’s now history
It’s over
It is over.
Happy Pills
Day 10, I am hoping to stabilize and elevate my daily moods. Am still very despondent, and my mind obsessions are still playing out.
Am not sure how having a stable mood will affect my writing. For years I have been on an emotional rollercoaster, many downs and ‘very downs’, not many very highs, though sometimes I have been ‘okay’. The ‘very downs’ seemed to spark writing in me. But also perhaps contributed to ruminations, and the continual feeding of my unhealthy thought patterns.
This past week I had a small success at work. In amongst all my failures. I sold myself to a client who is needing assistance in another state. They have requested that I assist them from the 1 May. I may have oversold myself. Something that doesn’t happen very often!
Empty Love
I will try
Try and forget
All the words
Said to hurt
Said to pain
Said to scar
I will try
Try and forget
Your eyes
Your arms
Your kiss
I will try
Try and forget
Times we shared
Times we spoke
Times together
When all it was
Was an emptiness
A meaningless –
An empty love
When all else fails
Vanished
Your absence eases my heart
To accept your painful dismissal
We reunite in my dreams
Joyful reunion until the night vanishes
Along with your ghost
Shining Rays
Wasted Love
My love was wasted
With our first kiss
My love was wasted
With the very next
My love was wasted
Through all my tears
Through all your smiles
And all your charms
My love was wasted
Spent at your feet
You walked over it all –
A wasted love
My Only Escape
Block him.
And keep him blocked.
No contact.