Overflowing

I was addicted
To a love that never was
Waiting for your touch
Craving each discarded crumb
My highs and lows diverting pain
The rejection I feared with all my soul
Rejection I forced into being
The rejection that finally gave way
To peace
To me
To the deep well of love
Overflowing
The love inside of me

Standing Up

I am free from the past

I am free from the pain 

I am free from your charms

I am free from your arms 

I am free from the rollercoaster 

The pain and the joys 

The ups and the downs

And the highs and the lows 

The buckle opened up 

I took a step off 

And after the fall

I wept on the floor 

I wept and I prayed 

I wept and I pained 

And when it was over 

For over it was

I stood back up

I gave it my all

I am standing again 

I am standing 

Once more

I am Free

Nothing more to say

Nothing more to do 

Nothing more to ponder

Nothing more to ask

The chain is broken

The lock is cracked 

It’s now history

It’s over 

It is over.

Happy Pills

Day 10, I am hoping to stabilize and elevate my daily moods. Am still very despondent, and my mind obsessions are still playing out. 

Am not sure how having a stable mood will affect my writing. For years I have been on an emotional rollercoaster, many downs and ‘very downs’, not many very highs, though sometimes I have been ‘okay’. The ‘very downs’ seemed to spark writing in me. But also perhaps contributed to ruminations, and the continual feeding of my unhealthy thought patterns.

This past week I had a small success at work. In amongst all my failures. I sold myself to a client who is needing assistance in another state. They have requested that I assist them from the 1 May. I may have oversold myself. Something that doesn’t happen very often! 

Empty Love

I will try
Try and forget
All the words
Said to hurt
Said to pain
Said to scar
I will try
Try and forget
Your eyes
Your arms
Your kiss
I will try
Try and forget
Times we shared
Times we spoke
Times together
When all it was
Was an emptiness
A meaningless –
An empty love

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/meaningless/

When all else fails


Today I thought about you for half a second

Then I ate a choc-chip cookie

And felt much better 

Vanished

Your absence eases my heart 

To accept your painful dismissal

We reunite in my dreams 

Joyful reunion until the night vanishes 

Along with your ghost
 

Shining Rays


Setting aside

All my burdens

Setting aside

My past mistakes 

Throwing off

Chains that bind me

Throwing off

Our last goodbyes 

Embracing 

New beginnings

Embracing 

Brand new days 

I look to the future 

I gaze up high

I look to the sun

And shining rays!

Wasted Love

My love was wasted 

With our first kiss

My love was wasted 

With the very next

My love was wasted 

Through all my tears

Through all your smiles

And all your charms

My love was wasted

Spent at your feet 

You walked over it all –

A wasted love 

My Only Escape

Block him.

And keep him blocked.

No contact.