The past week the neighbor in the Johannesburg office has been very welcoming and friendly. Appreciated by myself as I have had so much to do, and so much going on, it is good to see a friendly face. We get on like a house on fire. Today we worked out he is the brother to the woman who married my college sweetheart. We are connected. I’ve seen his sister (1998), she has spoken to me. Actually she hates me. But that’s beside the point. It is a small world!
Tag Prose
Bubbles, Anyone?
If you look close enough, you might spot the bubbles! Thought I would share it with anyone with a penchant for bubbles.
I worked till eleven last night (stuck on a challenge), and started again at six this morning. Challenge solved (who would think an incorrect Db config would result in a log interceptor exception)?
To celebrate the unhinged challenge, I decided on some retail therapy. At Sandton city for anyone who knows. And wow, did it hit the spot. I indulged in a pair of Guess jeans and top, and African egg cups (will post pics later), just because I can. I can so I did. Yay me!
Up tomorrow is dinner with my Year 4 teacher and her friend – “the grannies”, is how they are respectfully referred to. The past two nights I’ve been having an evening meal with my old man himself. I am being spoilt!
Kindness
The past few weeks I have been in a very negative space. Ungracious and unkind spirit, and having nothing to share.
But a miracle has happened! I have received so much kindness from others, encouragement and love. It really lifts me up, and makes me want to share. Last night a dear friend from bloggyville contacted me, and was so helpful and encouraging and loving. I fell asleep with that feeling of love on my heart. And I woke up with it, I had the thought, people are so kind in general, aren’t they?
I’ve been thinking as well of how helpful and supportive my manager has been. So, me being Vonita, and doing odd things every day, couldn’t resist walking up to him with a greeting of “people are so kind in general, aren’t they”? That’s a cryptic greeting, he replied. He said people are only kind if they are not feeling like they are being caged in, otherwise they might be lashing out. But you show kindness, he said, that’s why people are kind to you. I said to him, you are one of those kind people too, thank you. And then made a quick escape. And my friend reached out to me again this evening, so encouraging and edifying, sharing a Psalm with me and reminding me, we have God, heaven and Angels on our side. As many angels as we may need.
So have decided to go back to South Africa with that feeling on my heart. Just a feeling of wanting to be kind, and finding the love, when sometimes our nature wants to resist.
Xx
Lolly Jars
Well, I have two more sleeps before I head off on an overnight connecting flight to Johannesburg. Leaving my kids and husband behind for family responsibility decided on by others. Missing the event of the year, the School May Fair, which is a great day of fun, and something I’ve been looking forward to since the inaugural Fair from last year. But no, I rather need to take my life in my hands, and brave the Jhb roads, to satisfy other people’s expectations of what I should be doing with my life. And how I should be spending my non-existent cash, and time. Because I have unlimited leave and money grows on trees.
To cheer me up, I did my part and contributed a few Lolly Jars (candy jars) for the Lolly Jar ‘Lucky Dip’ stand. BFF is under strict instructions to buy a couple for myself, because Lolly Jars make me happy. Sometimes it’s the simple things in life.
Looking at the jars I’ve made up, I suddenly feel sorry for the poor soul who ends up with the yellow jar. Who wants a jar with only yellow lollies? (Candy, sweets in South Africa, lollies in Australia, you get the idea). Oops. Sorry, my bad.
And here’s a reminder from last year. (I am really upset at missing the fair. If I think about it too much I am going to get angry. And angry on me is not flattering).
Feeling Helpless
One of the worst things living in a far away place is simply that. A far away place. Too far to simply hop in the car, and check up on a loved one. Being at the mercy of friends and family who may or may not be able to do so upon request. Today I needed to check up on a close relative. My initial two points-of-call were logistically not able to. And then came a long series of who to call, what to ask, how to manage, what to assume etc. I have a close friend whom I grew up with in apartheid South Africa. I am fair-skinned, she is dark. We were only able to become friends because we attended a catholic school, and they had permission to enrol mixed race. My friend used to stay with us sometimes on the weekend or when it was too hard to get back to her home in Soweto. I contacted her, please friend. Before I could say another word she was in her car and on her way. I got this, she told me. I love her so much. I love that friendship is color-blind. I love that true friends remain true. Now to wait for her to be my eyes for me, and to be a presence for me. To tell me the truth.
Recognition
I love recognition. It is one of those personality shortcomings of mine that I wish I didn’t have. I love to be recognized for the work I do. It is a motivator for me. Not that it has happened for a while (and that in itself is frustrating). Friends of mine are not like that. They get given a job to do, and get on with it. Leave the recognition for those that are caught up with it. Somewhere inside it feels like I have a point to prove. I was like that at school, and it has never really left. I had a point to prove then. I had a speech impediment, and was considered a ‘special needs’ child. Rejection caused me to seek approval.
But what point do I still have to prove? That I can do the job? I know I can (um, with a bit of help and tenacity, maybe). I am smart? Sometimes I am, and sometimes it passes me by (cue the pano shot story I wrote about). Math and numbers are easy for me, so I know I am smart there.
My focus is all on the wrong things. Perhaps I should use some solitude to embrace being me. With no recognition required! There is no me like me (thank goodness for that, one of me I think is enough).
I Love Clutter!
Wow, this is really a sight to behold! My eyes this morning opened to a sight that told me I really do love clutter. It makes me feel warm and cosy. Look at this collection next to my bed. South African chocolate, body lotion, foot balm because we love well-cared-for feet, mini-tub of Zambuk (South African ointment for dry lips), trinket boxes that hold my wedding rings when I’m asleep, Mum ornament because I’m a Mum, cards, headache tablets – my last few from South Africa – the only ones that work for me so are being rationed, coffee mug edging in on the right, a beaded necklace that I wear in summer, a box of tissues for my allergies, yup, this is me in a nutshell.
Panoramic Yosemite
I’ve had an ongoing problem with taking pano shoots on my current iPhone, as well as on my previous one. I know the functionality is there because it offers the option. But it never seems to work. So forget that, macro is so much easier, and I can capture flowers up close and personal. And flowers, especially pretty ones, make me happy.
But I’m in Yosemite, and I need my pano shots to work. Today. My twelve year-old who is taller than me (which in 12 year-old speak means he knows more) nonchalantly flipped my phone over. What? I need to hold my phone in portrait mode to take a landscape pano? Really? Who would have thought? That’s what it says, Mum, give it a go.
Hmm. So technology. So 12 year-olds. So pano.
Giants or Dodgers?
So this morning we set off on a day of exploration, and as we went on our way we were caught up in the crowds all dressed in orange. They were on the way to one place only, so we made an executive decision. If in Rome do as the Romans do, right? We managed to get four seats in a row, and watched our first ever game of baseball. The weather was bleak so we thought to buy our kids orange Giants sweatshirts. The vendor looked at me strangely when I asked for a kid-sized ‘jumper’ for my daughter. What? A jumper. You want a sweatshirt?, he asked. Yes, please. For her.
And more firsts! Garlic fries, who can say no?
Key question, who to support, Giants or Dodgers?
Feeling my Fear
I am not quite fearless. Instead, I have a ridiculous fear. It is not a life-threatening fear or anything like that. Just a simple, random fear of missing out. If anyone knows me, they will know I am the epitome of a FOMO (fear of missing out). Yesterday I missed out. A group of friends spent a day at the river. I had been partially invited. It was difficult getting the actual details yesterday morning, there was a big mix-up, the friend who had invited me had a migraine and never responded to my text. So I never received the details until it was partially too late. So I decided not to go. I found out today they had a great day (apart from my friend with the migraine). A friend of mine from South Africa was there as well. I haven’t seen her in many years, and would have loved to have been there and seen her again. I feel really glum at having missed out. I know there are bigger issues in the world, but even so, I am sad at having missed out on a great day yesterday, with people, community and friends.
Poems and Petals 