He haunts me in my dreams. Visions of skin and eyes and smiles and touch. Moments of bliss. Flesh. The flesh so strong. Overruling any sane thought straining to be heard. He is close to me. When I close my eyes, and my dreams roam unrestrained. We are together and I love him and he loves me. And then I wake.
The coffee is cold.
I used to write poetry because I was passionate and turmoiled and a little crazy and sometimes crying and in love and in lust and in desire and in temptation and in remorse and in regret and now I write poetry because
Poetry
We never knew how much time we would have together, years have passed and we still do not know, and so we try to hold on as firmly as we can, but even as we do so
time slips through our fingers
Everything is calm and the world is peace and I am content for today and may the feeling last for as long as it can last.
On the bus and not alone all the seats are taken except one beside me until someone takes a seat and larger than me and the size of the seat and arms side by side touching skin upon skin naked flesh and I can feel a layer of perspiration form between where our arms are joined and I am like please
No!
I am at peace with the world
I am at peace with me
I am at peace
Thank you for my beating heart
Thank you for my life
Thank you
If this my last night shall be
Let me live it
Joyfully
Spare one last night to breathe in
All the pure goodness
Surrounding me
I have lived, I have loved
I have fought
I am
Grant one last wish of mine I plead
That my written words should be
My testimony
And if I should not make it through the night
Know that I am at peace, I am at rest
There are no words left in me
Selah
I will have faith.
I have faith.
I will trust.
I trust.
I will pray for God’s power.
I pray.
I will be willing.
Use me –
As I am.
My heart is at rest
My troubles lifted
Burdens ceased
For today
Joy, love and peace
My banner shall be
Allow the bud to open in its own time. Practice patience, and the rose will be revealed.
“But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing”.
James 1:4
Today I complained. I spoke to a friend wishing happy New Years yada yada, and then I complained. Just the usual midlife crisis complaints as one does. And at some point thereafter my friend responded with some unexpected good life news, and I was happy for my friend, and feeling embarrassed about having complained. Very embarrassed. How unattractive and unappealing it must have seemed. It is so easy to allow the words to tumble out. But from now I will try my very, very best to keep them locked away forever. Except for in poetry. Always poetry. Poetry for therapy.
Poems and Petals 