Rollercoaster life
Buckle up and enjoy the ride
From the time I awake until the night
I’m guided by an inner light
That transports me to joys so bright
Flying me on wings of dizzying height
Then dipping low and causing fright
Lurching, flying, moving, crying
My soul is on an emotional flight
To be, to have, to think, to move
All parts that work for good
But above all of these, there is but one
A higher, deeper, lower, greater
Depth to me and this would be
I feel
This is my humanity
I used to think tenacity was good.
Now I think, it is not enough.
I used to think my courage would see me through.
Now I think, it is not enough.
I used to think I could do it all.
Now I ask, will I even start?
I used to think my life was worth my breath
Now I pray, help me survive this day.
Always
Be the best
Be the best that you can be
Because the world needs you
It needs the best that only
You can be
I hold my heart
With delicate hands
Feeling the fragility
With every beat
Pulsing a life force
Into the natural world
I honor all that
I am created
To be
One of my early memories was being in preschool, and on a few days my teacher would be absent. On those days we had to go to the classroom next door. I hated it. I hated being there, and I hated not being with my teacher. I get attached to people.
Today I had to say goodbye to a close colleague. She came in, handed in her resignation and work equipment, and left this afternoon. She helped me with a few things this year. Sitting next to me, and it was comforting to have her there. I feel saddened. Bad news to end the year.
For it is only for a day
Should I persevere?
Do I continue to hit my head against a hard brick wall?
Or is it better to just give up?
If the path before me is leading to a blank dead end, where to find another?
I lost myself
A long time ago
I look around
To see a void
Where is the child I was
The girl I knew?
Buried beneath pain
And death –
Suffocated
My soul is your breath
Breathed into me
My heart is your love
Beating inside of me
My spirit is a flame
Of your eternal power
My life is a moment
Of eternity
Yesterday I was upset with my son for getting his punctuation wrong. I am always such a bossy mother, telling him to do this, do that, do the next thing. Please.
This evening I came home in tears. Always feeling a failure, never really fitting it, being socially awkward and introverted. Being technically weak in a technical role.
My son came and sat with me in my room. He rubbed my back for me and comforted me. The others in the house continued what they were doing.
And I thought to myself. My son’s heart touched mine. He entered into my pain. He had and has always had a special gift of empathy. We are born with souls. Sometimes it gets crowded out. At the end of the day, who cares about punctuation? What does it really matter?
Poems and Petals 