Category prose

Bubbles, Anyone?

Vonita 10 Comments

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If you look close enough, you might spot the bubbles! Thought I would share it with anyone with a penchant for bubbles.

I worked till eleven last night (stuck on a challenge), and started again at six this morning. Challenge solved (who would think an incorrect Db config would result in a log interceptor exception)?

To celebrate the unhinged challenge, I decided on some retail therapy. At Sandton city for anyone who knows. And wow, did it hit the spot. I indulged in a pair of Guess jeans and top, and African egg cups (will post pics later), just because I can. I can so I did. Yay me!

Up tomorrow is dinner with my Year 4 teacher and her friend – “the grannies”, is how they are respectfully referred to. The past two nights I’ve been having an evening meal with my old man himself. I am being spoilt!

Loser Me

Vonita 9 Comments

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Waiting, waiting, hesitating
Waiting, waiting, contemplating
Waiting, waiting, wasting time

Welcome to Africa, and African time. Where it takes an hour standing in the customs queue, because time be 5:10am, and skeleton staff to process all the people. But that’s okay, because we are not going anywhere (we got ya!), we just all be like, stand in the queue until it be our turn. Not going forward, not going back. Yeah, but I need the bathroom, people!

Yay, baggage collection time. But where is my luggage? Empty carousels everywhere, three with luggage, but none from Perth. Ask an ‘official’ and he be like – look at that one, if not there then look over there, otherwise go that side. No. None. Eventually I saw – a couple stray bags on an empty carousel. Hey that’s mine! A man called to me – those are the last from Perth. Huh? What did I miss? I came off the same flight and stood in the same queue, how come I’m the last to get my luggage? Everyone else been and left? Ah, I get it. I stood in the ‘foreign passport’ queue. Loser.

Ladies and Gentlemen

Vonita 2 Comments
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Welcoming face

It’s been a while since I’ve flown South African Airways (SAA). The onboard staff were very warm and welcoming, and lucky me, I had three seats to myself to lie back and relax. The experience felt though as if I was stepping back in time. From the aircraft itself, as well as to the onboard experience. Many of the announcements were introduced with the term ‘Ladies and Gentleman’, I can’t recall how other airlines address the passengers. It just kept on sounding very odd. What was more odd though, was the announcement that the plane was refueling – after we were already in the air. The arm rest next to me had a missing silver button, with only a button hole appearing where the button should be. And the pillows, whilst bearing clean paper covers, were re-used. I know this because I thought to look under the cover (should these covers be taken off?). And the one I looked under bore old stains (coffee? blood?). I took a pic to share as this is a story like – if there isn’t a picture it wasn’t so:

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Can you see it?

The inflight entertainment system was also rather dated. The interface looking like it was state of the art somewhere in the 1980s (I did manage half of the Intern until the entertainment system was switched off for descent). And all electronic systems (including mobile phones) to be switched off ‘completely regardless of their mode’. Because why?

Apart from all of that, the flight felt strangely familiar. This is the airline of my youth. The inflight magazine is the same brand as the one I used to read when I flew jhb to Cape Town many times. The cabin crew all South African, and hey, I am going ‘home’.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/photo-challenges/face/

Kindness

Vonita 11 Comments

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The past few weeks I have been in a very negative space. Ungracious and unkind spirit, and having nothing to share.

But a miracle has happened! I have received so much kindness from others, encouragement and love. It really lifts me up, and makes me want to share. Last night a dear friend from bloggyville contacted me, and was so helpful and encouraging and loving. I fell asleep with that feeling of love on my heart. And I woke up with it, I had the thought, people are so kind in general, aren’t they?

I’ve been thinking as well of how helpful and supportive my manager has been. So, me being Vonita, and doing odd things every day, couldn’t resist walking up to him with a greeting of “people are so kind in general, aren’t they”? That’s a cryptic greeting, he replied. He said people are only kind if they are not feeling like they are being caged in, otherwise they might be lashing out. But you show kindness, he said, that’s why people are kind to you. I said to him, you are one of those kind people too, thank you. And then made a quick escape. And my friend reached out to me again this evening, so encouraging and edifying, sharing a Psalm with me and reminding me, we have God, heaven and Angels on our side. As many angels as we may need.

So have decided to go back to South Africa with that feeling on my heart. Just a feeling of wanting to be kind, and finding the love, when sometimes our nature wants to resist.

Xx

Lolly Jars

Vonita 5 Comments

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Well, I have two more sleeps before I head off on an overnight connecting flight to Johannesburg. Leaving my kids and husband behind for family responsibility decided on by others. Missing the event of the year, the School May Fair, which is a great day of fun, and something I’ve been looking forward to since the inaugural Fair from last year. But no, I rather need to take my life in my hands, and brave the Jhb roads, to satisfy other people’s expectations of what I should be doing with my life. And how I should be spending my non-existent cash, and time. Because I have unlimited leave and money grows on trees.

To cheer me up, I did my part and contributed a few Lolly Jars (candy jars) for the Lolly Jar ‘Lucky Dip’ stand. BFF is under strict instructions to buy a couple for myself, because Lolly Jars make me happy. Sometimes it’s the simple things in life.

Looking at the jars I’ve made up, I suddenly feel sorry for the poor soul who ends up with the yellow jar. Who wants a jar with only yellow lollies? (Candy, sweets in South Africa, lollies in Australia, you get the idea). Oops. Sorry, my bad.

And here’s a reminder from last year. (I am really upset at missing the fair. If I think about it too much I am going to get angry. And angry on me is not flattering).

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Day Job

Vonita 10 Comments

My day job is as diverse as it can be. Sometimes I have heaps of work to do, and not enough time. Sometimes I have none. For weeks on end. Each project is different. Each host system is different. Different environments, different applications, different systems to connect to, different sets of problems. And challenges. Today I started writing a Sap3 Connector. I’ve never written one before. It seems slightly non-trivial. And I have three days in which to do it (my bad, I underscoped). And so it goes.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/diverse/

Headspace

Vonita 16 Comments

This past week I have found myself agreeing to do something that someone else wants me to do. It is a big thing I have to do, it is costing me (time, money and emotion), and I am resentful. It gets complicated. We don’t live in a solitary world. Sometimes our actions affect others. Sometimes we find ourselves in situations we never chose for ourselves. To have been true to myself and just said NO, would have led to implications on others. So I felt my responsibility, and have obliged.

But now I have a dark black shadow over me. My soul is telling me what it feels. There is no energy or excitement in what needs to be done. Just a feeling of resentment, and a manner of going through motions.

I haven’t been able to visit the WordPress reader this week. The energy from me is gone.

Feeling Helpless

Vonita 14 Comments

One of the worst things living in a far away place is simply that. A far away place. Too far to simply hop in the car, and check up on a loved one. Being at the mercy of friends and family who may or may not be able to do so upon request. Today I needed to check up on a close relative. My initial two points-of-call were logistically not able to. And then came a long series of who to call, what to ask, how to manage, what to assume etc. I have a close friend whom I grew up with in apartheid South Africa. I am fair-skinned, she is dark. We were only able to become friends because we attended a catholic school, and they had permission to enrol mixed race. My friend used to stay with us sometimes on the weekend or when it was too hard to get back to her home in Soweto. I contacted her, please friend. Before I could say another word she was in her car and on her way. I got this, she told me. I love her so much. I love that friendship is color-blind. I love that true friends remain true. Now to wait for her to be my eyes for me, and to be a presence for me. To tell me the truth.

Red Wine

Vonita 4 Comments

Makes me blush! Omigoodness, I had a half-glass of wine after work today, and then got caught up chatting to some people. Including my manager. And only realized afterwards that red wine *really* makes me blush. How embarrassing. My face was red like a – what? Red balloon? Red tomato? Red sunburnt face? Red blushing Vonita? I don’t know. I just know my face was red. And it gets worse. I was giggling. At what I don’t know. No more half-glasses of red wine for me. This is terrible.

Recognition

Vonita 11 Comments

I love recognition. It is one of those personality shortcomings of mine that I wish I didn’t have. I love to be recognized for the work I do. It is a motivator for me. Not that it has happened for a while (and that in itself is frustrating). Friends of mine are not like that. They get given a job to do, and get on with it. Leave the recognition for those that are caught up with it. Somewhere inside it feels like I have a point to prove. I was like that at school, and it has never really left. I had a point to prove then. I had a speech impediment, and was considered a ‘special needs’ child. Rejection caused me to seek approval.

But what point do I still have to prove? That I can do the job? I know I can (um, with a bit of help and tenacity, maybe). I am smart? Sometimes I am, and sometimes it passes me by (cue the pano shot story I wrote about).  Math and numbers are easy for me, so I know I am smart there.

My focus is all on the wrong things. Perhaps I should use some solitude to embrace being me. With no recognition required! There is no me like me (thank goodness for that, one of me I think is enough).