You Are My Company

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This morning I walked my daughter to school, instead of dropping her off outside the gates. When we entered the road that her school is in, there was only a short way to go, and she is getting older now. I said to her, you can walk the rest of the way by yourself. And she replied, I don’t want to, I want you to walk with me, you are my company. One little sentence that made my heart soar, and heart sore for knowing that she will grow and fly away. Yes, my child, for now, I am your company, and you are mine.

Defeatist vs Gratitude

It was commented to me by a friend today that practicing gratitude on one level is being defeatist, and that I am it. Instead of being more assertive in what I would want, and not want, I rather accept any crumbs thrown my way. I thought about a conversation I have had recently with someone else, and I had started off with a fiery opinion. After a few choice words from the recipient, I lost all my fire and traction I had in the beginning. So I admitted to my friend, yes I guess I am defeatist. Yeah, look at you, I was told, even being defeatist about being defeatist.

Blogger Recognition Award

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Lovely Beth at Designer Sophisticate surprised me yesterday with this award. Beth’s blog was one of the first few I started reading when I started the Daily Prompts a year ago. The Daily Prompts were so helpful to me, and really helped me to write. There are so many wonderful writers I used to read on a daily basis, but I and a few others fell off the grid this year due to the repeat prompts that were being posted. I really miss the community feel and those I used to read daily. So when I was surprised by Beth yesterday, I felt that I would like to honor her nomination and participate in this award. I will be doing so on a no-obligation basis, but thought I would like to share the blogs I used to enjoy as part of the Daily Prompt, and please forgive me for leaving anyone off the list.

The Rules for the Blogger Recognition Award:

1. Select fifteen other blogs you want to give the award to (I will limit to ten)
2. You cannot nominate yourself or the person who has nominated you
3. Write a post to show your award
4. Give a brief story of how your blog started
5. Give a piece of advice or two to new bloggers
6. Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog
7. Attach the award to the post (right-click and save, then upload)
8. Comment on each blog and let them know you have nominated them
9. Provide a link to the award post you created

My blog was created at the end of October 2013 for a few months (movingtowardsthelight), and then became dormant (because I didn’t know what or how to write). I revived it in September last year as a means of therapy. And I started doing the daily prompts every night. I would stay up until midnight for the daily prompt to be released (my time AEST), and then challenge myself to write something within half an hour so I could go to sleep. I did this religiously until the beginning of this year when WordPress started recycling the prompts. And since then I have been trying to prompt myself.

The advice I would give to new bloggers is to be authentic and true to yourself. Every person has their own unique voice, so allow that voice to be heard.

Here are a few blogs I started reading in September last year (in addition to Designer Sophisticate). Some of the blogs are award-free blogs, so I will be listing them here, and if the author would like to participate, please feel free to do so. (I took these from the grid today, a year from when I started reading they are still on the grid, it is so encouraging!)

Pepper Connection
lifelessons
Just Writing!
From Balderdash to Epiphany
The happy Quitter!
No Talent For Certainty
Flowers and Breezes
Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss
Vexing Point
Serendipity

To all the wonderful WordPress writers, thank you for your help, encouragement and friendship in the past year!

Execution Night

In the next few hours while some of us are asleep, nine souls are going to be tied to a cross and shot. Dead. Amongst them, brothers, sons, husbands, fathers, a daughter and mother.

People will say they did the crime, now do the time. They are going to be doing the time. By paying with the rest of their lives.

Myuran Sukumaran, a reformed man (if only because he was caught), will refuse a head mask. He will be facing his executioners until he can no longer see. Hands and feet bound, there will be nowhere to go.

Nine cheap coffins have been delivered. White coffins to match their white clothes. White clothes with a target sign to mark their heart. Their dying day has already been engraved on a wooden cross to mark their lives.

They know the date, they know the time, they know the manner in which they will die. And now all they have to do is wait. Until their hearts are peppered with bullets. Ten shooters for each soul, three with live ammunition *so that no one knows who fired the final fatal shot*

And those that refuse mercy, will have dinner, and sleep, and live their lives. Perhaps watch with satisfaction the agony of the mothers and fathers and sisters and brothers and children left behind. Content with their hearts untouched by bullets, and untouched by mercy too.

http://m.smh.com.au/world/bali-nine-executions-myuran-sukumarans-haunting-final-paintings-20150428-1mv8qy.html

Melancholy

Where I will be from next week Tuesday to Fridays

Where I will be from next week Tuesday to Fridays

It is sunny in Sydney today. We do not live right near the coastline, but on days like these I wish we did. I have a craving to pop onto the beach sand and go for a walk, hearing the sound of the ocean waves. But the craving does not extend to going for a forty minute drive to do so. I am feeling sadness wash over me, reminiscent of this time of year. April always has it’s own feel about it. It is my birthday month, and the month I lost my mother. Today is my niece’s birthday in South Africa, she will be ten today.

I took a sabbatical from work to spend time with my children, to enjoy my blog, and to finish my book. My book is finished. The first publisher let me down, so I am now publishing with another company. They do not seem to be in any rush to get it out the door it seems. But my part is done. I would have loved to have had a hard copy on my first day back at work, it seems that day is still a few weeks away. Even so, I love reading the pages on my iPhone, it makes me happy. I have learnt a lot in the past few months – inDesign skills, stock images, visual design. A whole new set of skills. My children’s book has been written, the illustrations and design of which are both work-in-progress.

I feel sad to leave the routine that I have created behind. Also, not sure what work I will be doing, apparently there is work waiting for me. I do not know what is in store, it always changes. This time next week I will be back in the office, and my blogging frequency will most likely decrease. Have started an online poetry course with the University of Iowa. I may share some of my posts here (Teddy Bear Haiku (I) from yesterday was the first), and look forward to learning “official” poetry skills. My blog lay dormant from Jan 2014 to Sept 2014, I really wanted to write and there was a desire to do so, but I didn’t know what to write about. Starting the Daily Prompts in September last year really helped to inspire me. Thankful for all the help and encouragement from the readers at WordPress, and especially those who have read from the beginning, helping and encouraging at each step ❤

My daughter is playing with the neighbours outside. I can hear their voices. My son is at a friend. It is his last year of "primary" school, next year he changes schools. My children are slipping out my fingers. The radio is playing, and the songs are making me somewhat melancholic. From next week I have a new beginning. A new beginning in a renovated office (my old desk is gone!). As an aside, I stood outside the building pictured above on a February day in 2007, wishing that some day I could work there. (I worked for the same company in South Africa). Not knowing how to make it happen. And it all fell into place. My time there is not yet complete, going back for another session!

The end of this precious time of my life, and a new beginning.

Thank you for reading 🙂

Sweet Marigold

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The petals and blossoms of the world are all very lonely. Until they are greeted with a ray of sunshine to brighten their long days. Into their lives a little child passes their way. And as she does so, their spirits start to rise. Their colours brighten, and they stand tall and strong on their stalks. Their lives will forever be touched by a young child. A child just like you. A child who loves every bright flower, and butterflies and bees. A child who is the heroine of her own story. A little girl by the name of Sweet Marigold.

Self-publishing

Hi,

Has anyone self-published, and willing to share stories with me? Have you used Xlibris / Author Solutions / Lulu etc. Interested to hear about others experiences. Either email or comment below please! Would love to hear your feedback.

Thank you!

Theme From Mahogany

We used to sing this in my last year of school. I didn’t know where I was going to. It resonated so deeply with me. I was eighteen and would think to myself, I would like to be married and have children one day. And my favorite subject is math. What can one do with that?

I used to write abstract writings in my journal (but not poetry, I had No Idea why Sylvia Plath would write what she wrote, and had no desire to analyse it). I still have those writings of mine. But apart from that, I had no idea where I was going to.

I still love this song. I cannot hear it and not be taken back to my school hall and being eighteen 🙂

I Can’t Even Deal

A popular columnist in Sydney will write that “she can’t even deal”. Translation: something has happened that is so profound or obscure or unexpected that she can’t even acknowledge what has happened. As in, it is beyond belief, there are no words.

Well, this evening (my time in Sydney), I can say that “I can’t even deal”. Because I have sent correctly formatted (according to the spec received) Adobe inDesign files through to a publisher for publishing, and they have come back for sign off totally different to what I sent through. So all I can say to this is, I can’t even deal!

Which means, I have a low res PDF version of a book, all the files correctly formatted and designed to create the book, but I Still don’t have a book!

And as my late mother would say if she were here – it begs the question, how hard can it possibly be?

THANK YOU for reading!

A Telegram to the People of Cape Town.

My mother was a CapeTown-ian and I still have close family residing in Cape Town, which is currently being ravaged by mountain fires.

Amos van der Merwe's avatarRolbos ©

IMG_1634capeFrom: The people of Rolbos

To: The people of Cape Town

Sbject:

FireMessage: We, the scattered people who live in faraway places; united by the concept that Life is good, that kindness should dictate our interaction with others, and that compassion is the only way to overcome differences; hereby wish to extend our heartfelt sympathy to all Capetonians – especially those who suffered directly as a result of the fire that is still raging.

It is our prayer that you will be sustained by the love of people who care (from all over the world) in this terrible time. Be assured that you are in our thoughts and that we hope that you will emerge from this ordeal stronger and more beautiful than ever.

From: The patrons in Boggel’s Place.

***

PS: please share this thought amongst your friends. Sometimes just being there for somebody is worth more than material…

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