Life-Changer

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Today I came across a man wearing a thick heavy silver chain necklace. In the instant that I noticed it, I was reminded of an old manager of mine. He offered me a job when I was 22, and had recently lost my mother. He used to wear a thick gold bracelet. It stood out in my mind quite significantly. It was a random observation though. What stands out more for me was that he was very kind to me.

My very first job was as a graduate at IBM. I hated it. As soon as my mother passed away I gave myself permission to leave. I left without having anothe job lined up, and I didn’t care. During my first week of unemployment I started with temp office work. By the third week in I was bored. And so I went on a few coding interviews.

On the Friday afternoon I received a phone call. The job offer was mine! And I was being offered a higher salary than I had been earning at IBM. Win! I started on the 1 Sept 1996, exactly one month after leaving IBM.

I loved that job. I was part of a team. I belonged. It was wonderful. The work was interesting, as well as challenging too. Our team was disbanded twenty months later. But for that short time, it was a life-changer.

Pictured above, sitting on the right. My manager was second from the left. I was happy when that photo was taken.

Theme Update

Omigosh, I started playing around with themes, and now my old theme is gone! And I can’t get it back. So Passion Through Poetry, in anticipation of its third birthday, has a new theme. Thank you for reading my poetry, and all your wonderful friendships.

 

Yay, Summer!


Summer is arriving in the Southern Hemisphere, and to celebrate I had my first swim of the season. And it was glorious! I swam off all my trapped negative emotions, unhelpful thoughts, and just submerged myself underwater.

I am Okay

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My late mil (mother-in-law) often used to start her sentences with ‘the main thing is’. Followed by what the main thing would be for that particular day.

A few years back I went through an experience that broke me. My children were both young, my daughter was one year and a bit. My husband was on a contract in Melbourne, and I was alone with my children in Johannesburg. I was alone.

I went through an experience that broke my soul. That changed how I think about things. How I see the world and people. And left me with a wound. On a deeper, more spiritual level. I was left floundering, pained, hurt, wounded.

I am still trying to heal that wound. I am still seeking validation outside of me. I am still looking to others to validate me. And I realized today I don’t need others to validate me. I don’t need to look outside myself. I don’t need to fulfill the expectations that others might have of me. I don’t need to fill shoes that others have decided I should fill.

And it so clearly came to mind, the main thing is:

I am me, and I am okay.

Girl Power

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Sometimes we girls need friends. Some girl power to lift us up, and remind us we are loved. Today I spent a couple of hours with one of my girlfriends. I arrived with a sore heart. Only to find that it was uplifted and encouraged. We enjoyed the sun, the scenery, the coffee, the lunch, the company, each other, and celebrating the fact that we are girls. No, not girls. We are Women. Mothers. Wives. Friends.

We are passionate. And we are awesome. 🙂

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/passionate/

Souls for Company

So caught up in myself, and the stories my mind makes up for me. I am always entertained by the fantasy world in which I live. A few days ago I stopped and spoke to someone. Someone I have been resenting for a good few years. Someone in my space. But I was invited into a conversation with this person. And I stopped to listen. To hear the other side. Not my thoughts and beliefs and resentments. And I was surprised. There are good intentions. There are good points. It is not all about me. Others have their own stories too. And we have all been created. Souls for company.

Shopping

Yesterday I had an interesting experience. My son had a pupil-free day, which means he had a day off school. On a Monday, which means I had company. We went shopping. For a pokemon-go voucher. On our way back to the car, I spotted a dress on display, and decided to try it on. The sales assistant did a very good job, and persuaded me to try on two (discount off second purchase). Being protected by seven-day return policy I bought both. Yay, summer!

And then.

Third-degree from my son. How many dresses did I buy? How much did they cost? What about the clothes I wore last week? Those are for winter, I replied. But what about my summer clothes? Those are old season. He wears old season, what’s wrong with mine? Why did I buy something I don’t need. Wow, what is this all about, I eventually had to ask.

Turns out he’s been saving all his pocket money for a new game and is $30 short. And then horror of all horrors, I just walked into a store and bought not one, but two dresses I don’t even need!

Hmm. My husband’s two cents worth afterwards – I was being evaluated by my twelve-year old, and I failed!

Personality

I spent most of last week obsessing. Wishing for a new personality. Wishing I am not the person I am. Why do I not have leadership qualities. Why am I constantly overlooked. Why do I lack self-confidence. Why do I not make friends easily. Why this. Why that. Why blah.

Until I realized. I am. There are people that accept me. There are those that love me. I cannot be anyone, but me. I am not perfect. And neither is anyone! Or as a kind friend mentioned, we are all perfect. Different. And perfect.

Youth

There are a few things I would do differently if I could relive my youth. If only I could turn back the clock haha, okay so here’s my list:

  • Wear sun block daily (I never wore sun block at all)
  • Stop sugar in my tea (only managed to stop table sugar at 26)
  • Save myself skin problems by not drinking coca-cola
  • Have orthodontics completed sooner (not in my thirties)

That’s it, can’t think of anything else. Just to say I had no style back then. Not to say that I’m a style fashionista currently, but I have discovered Guess jeans and they fit quite well. I spent my early-mid twenties wishing and praying for a partner and children. My father and his then new wife invited me for dinner one evening. After we were all seated, three of us, yay, I discovered the true intention of the invite. It was suggested to me that if I wanted to find myself a husband perhaps I should spruce myself up a bit. Nothing wrong with a bit of makeup and some style. Show some cleavage baby. Yeeeha! Actually, looking back and seeing some photos of me back then, I get their point.

Anyway, after three long single years I met my husband, married within nine months, and had two children. They are now getting big and passed the ‘needing mom’ stage, now we are at the ‘can I have money please’ stage.

And I am never going to be the most ‘funky’ person, or have the largest circle of friends, but I do have my few friends, and am thankful for them. And nowadays I write a blog. And poetry. Yay for poetry!

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/youth/

Day Job

My day job is as diverse as it can be. Sometimes I have heaps of work to do, and not enough time. Sometimes I have none. For weeks on end. Each project is different. Each host system is different. Different environments, different applications, different systems to connect to, different sets of problems. And challenges. Today I started writing a Sap3 Connector. I’ve never written one before. It seems slightly non-trivial. And I have three days in which to do it (my bad, I underscoped). And so it goes.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/diverse/