Feeling Helpless

Vonita

One of the worst things living in a far away place is simply that. A far away place. Too far to simply hop in the car, and check up on a loved one. Being at the mercy of friends and family who may or may not be able to do so upon request. Today I needed to check up on a close relative. My initial two points-of-call were logistically not able to. And then came a long series of who to call, what to ask, how to manage, what to assume etc. I have a close friend whom I grew up with in apartheid South Africa. I am fair-skinned, she is dark. We were only able to become friends because we attended a catholic school, and they had permission to enrol mixed race. My friend used to stay with us sometimes on the weekend or when it was too hard to get back to her home in Soweto. I contacted her, please friend. Before I could say another word she was in her car and on her way. I got this, she told me. I love her so much. I love that friendship is color-blind. I love that true friends remain true. Now to wait for her to be my eyes for me, and to be a presence for me. To tell me the truth.

14 thoughts on “Feeling Helpless”

  2. It is so difficult but your friend will come through. Know that! Friendship of the truest nature is color blind. Thank God that your family also was. My family growing up was scared of dark skinned people because of what was going on in this country when they came to it. My good friend was also dark and I am fair. I was never allowed to have her over. I also attended a Catholic school.

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  3. It is a terrible feeling to depend on others. The more important something is to you the worse the feeling. I am sure that friendship can never be destroyed by distance. Even when you don’t hear something for years from each other once you are together it might feel as if you never left! But however, I hope you get in touch with your relative soon!

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  4. I’m glad you have a friend who came through for you and got you where you needed to go. You would hate our winters but what you would like about Canada is we don’t care about race for the most part. We’re not perfect, no place is but I went to school with kids of many descents, from many countries. I have friends from Tanzanea, Hong Kong, who are half-Indian, friends who are Russian, who have German descent, Dutch descent, ukrainen descent, in my own lineage we have Chinese descent that has shown up in a couple if my cousins. My point, wherever you are it shouldn’t matter and we don’t see skin colour when we look at our friends, only kind eyes and helpful hands. I’m glad your friend is a friend just like this. 🙂

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    1. Aw thank you for sharing this! I love your comment about the kind eyes and helpful hands, so beautiful. Canada sounds amazing I would love to be there sometime! 🙂

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