Prayer for Patience 

I am waiting for love

I am waiting for Thee

I am waiting for patience

I am waiting to see

What thou hast in store for me

What thou heart has planned

The depth of thy mercy

The grace from thy hand

I am waiting, dear Lord

Hear my soul prayer

Grant me thy vision

Lend me thy ear

So I could hear fully

And I could know trust

That thy way is best

I will wait if I must

Effortless Help

In days past, whenever I have asked for God’s help and help has appeared, it has always been an ‘effortless’ help. 

Everything has just fallen so easily into place. Moving countries was effortless. Sure I had my part to play, had to pack everything up, and get organized, but the whole process was effortless. Work appeared, houses appeared, all the help we needed when we needed it, appeared. There was no struggle. There was no resistance. 

The same when I met my husband. I prayed and prayed to meet one person in the world that would love me. And when it happened, it was effortless. I didn’t have to fight and scream and go through turmoil, it was just easy and peaceful. And effortless.

For a few years I have been feeling unsettled inside. Not knowing where to go or what to do. I have failed miserably  at a few things I have attempted, had my self-esteem and confidence destroyed, and felt hopeless and even worthless.

But I realize, with God’s help the change that I need will happen, and it will happen effortlessly. I won’t need to jump through hoops, perform all manner of party tricks, or sell my soul for something to happen. It will just be. In God’s perfect time and way, and when it happens, it whatever way it manifests, I will be willing.

Not My Will

I started the day with a positive attitude. 

And then the day happened. 

Just one single interaction with someone and all my low self-esteem came gushing forth, insecurities and failures and non-growth, comparing myself to others and it is all getting old and I am not worthy and blah blah blah. 

I will have faith.

I will trust.

I will pray for God’s power.

I will be willing.

Not my will, dear Lord, but thine be done.