My soul is your breath
Breathed into me
My heart is your love
Beating inside of me
My spirit is a flame
Of your eternal power
My life is a moment
Of eternity
God loves you
And He loves me
His grace abounds
Forgiveness free
I hear His voice
I feel His touch
Joy overflows –
Sweet victory
I did something so terrible and shocking and inexplicable that I cannot even explain how or why or what I was thinking, except I wasn’t thinking, only driven by an emotion greater than myself, that I have no defense and the only bright part is:
I never killed anyone
(Or hurt a child, because that’s even worse than killing someone)
A woman took my hand. Wrapping her arms around me I could feel her soft skin, and delicately perfumed scent. Her long straight hair brushed over my arm as she leaned over to plant a kiss on my cheek. So unexpectedly. So very different to a man. So gentle and enticing. I lost my breath.
A thick heavy black soot settles over the landscape that was previously filled with roses and petals and flowers and all of nature’s beauty, filling the air with their scent and igniting the senses with their glory, all being replaced and suffocated with dead grey ash. Where are the roses? They have died.
Pressure building
Underneath unseen
Boiling heating
Festering
Lightning strikes
Thunder claps
The boiling wound
Explodes
Last night I failed
I lost control of all my projected composure
My pain points were pressed so deeply
Pressing into my very being
My heart, my soul, my most intimate self
That I lost all rational thought or reason
I transported fully into a realm of negative emotion
Of jealousy so pure and unrefined
Of jealousy in its rawest form
Overcoming every part of me –
I snapped
(And it wasn’t pretty)
Why do some relationships work, and others don’t? What makes people connect, or not? How does the spark take flame, and not flicker and die?
I wish I knew. I wish there was a soul to match my own.