Stumbled across this photo from nearly twenty years ago. Made me feel so sad. Time takes from everyone, though I guess it gives back too!
Tag personal
Punishment
The worst punishment I faced was being hit across my face by an adult man when I was nine turning ten. More than once. Being hit by a man in anger. With a temper. It instilled a fear in me that has never gone away. Even now, if a man displays aggression or temper, I cannot be in that person’s company. A man is physically stronger than a woman. Cold hard fact that we cannot physically defend ourselves. If a man wants to physically hurt a woman, he generally is able to.
Haircut
My hair’s been irritating me for a while, and no chance to get to a hairdresser. So this evening my fingers were really itchy and before I knew it my hair was chopped!
Yay me, and it feels so good ✂️
Friends Forever
V and I have been friends forever.
Or at least since I was twelve years old. We grew up in the apartheid years. Which meant we could not go to the cinema together. Or a restaurant.
Or catch a bus. Our friendship was only possible because we attended a Catholic school, and mixed race was permitted. V often used to stay in our home. She knew my parents well. Distance may keep us apart, but we will always be friends.
Small World!
The past week the neighbor in the Johannesburg office has been very welcoming and friendly. Appreciated by myself as I have had so much to do, and so much going on, it is good to see a friendly face. We get on like a house on fire. Today we worked out he is the brother to the woman who married my college sweetheart. We are connected. I’ve seen his sister (1998), she has spoken to me. Actually she hates me. But that’s beside the point. It is a small world!
Ladies and Gentlemen
Welcoming face
It’s been a while since I’ve flown South African Airways (SAA). The onboard staff were very warm and welcoming, and lucky me, I had three seats to myself to lie back and relax. The experience felt though as if I was stepping back in time. From the aircraft itself, as well as to the onboard experience. Many of the announcements were introduced with the term ‘Ladies and Gentleman’, I can’t recall how other airlines address the passengers. It just kept on sounding very odd. What was more odd though, was the announcement that the plane was refueling – after we were already in the air. The arm rest next to me had a missing silver button, with only a button hole appearing where the button should be. And the pillows, whilst bearing clean paper covers, were re-used. I know this because I thought to look under the cover (should these covers be taken off?). And the one I looked under bore old stains (coffee? blood?). I took a pic to share as this is a story like – if there isn’t a picture it wasn’t so:
Can you see it?
The inflight entertainment system was also rather dated. The interface looking like it was state of the art somewhere in the 1980s (I did manage half of the Intern until the entertainment system was switched off for descent). And all electronic systems (including mobile phones) to be switched off ‘completely regardless of their mode’. Because why?
Apart from all of that, the flight felt strangely familiar. This is the airline of my youth. The inflight magazine is the same brand as the one I used to read when I flew jhb to Cape Town many times. The cabin crew all South African, and hey, I am going ‘home’.
Headspace
This past week I have found myself agreeing to do something that someone else wants me to do. It is a big thing I have to do, it is costing me (time, money and emotion), and I am resentful. It gets complicated. We don’t live in a solitary world. Sometimes our actions affect others. Sometimes we find ourselves in situations we never chose for ourselves. To have been true to myself and just said NO, would have led to implications on others. So I felt my responsibility, and have obliged.
But now I have a dark black shadow over me. My soul is telling me what it feels. There is no energy or excitement in what needs to be done. Just a feeling of resentment, and a manner of going through motions.
I haven’t been able to visit the WordPress reader this week. The energy from me is gone.
Red Wine
Makes me blush! Omigoodness, I had a half-glass of wine after work today, and then got caught up chatting to some people. Including my manager. And only realized afterwards that red wine *really* makes me blush. How embarrassing. My face was red like a – what? Red balloon? Red tomato? Red sunburnt face? Red blushing Vonita? I don’t know. I just know my face was red. And it gets worse. I was giggling. At what I don’t know. No more half-glasses of red wine for me. This is terrible.
I Love Clutter!
Wow, this is really a sight to behold! My eyes this morning opened to a sight that told me I really do love clutter. It makes me feel warm and cosy. Look at this collection next to my bed. South African chocolate, body lotion, foot balm because we love well-cared-for feet, mini-tub of Zambuk (South African ointment for dry lips), trinket boxes that hold my wedding rings when I’m asleep, Mum ornament because I’m a Mum, cards, headache tablets – my last few from South Africa – the only ones that work for me so are being rationed, coffee mug edging in on the right, a beaded necklace that I wear in summer, a box of tissues for my allergies, yup, this is me in a nutshell.
The Other Side
Will see you on the other side. Or not! May be limited posts for the next couple of weeks, will share happy snaps if I get that far!
All the best, dear friends!
Until then 💝 keep well xo.
Poems and Petals 