how long will it take?
to become whole again.
for the pain to fade.
for a heart to heal.
how long will it take?
before all hoping ends.
that we could still be.
how long will it take?
for butterflies to die
Tag pain
I Know
I know, I know, I know
That after my cravings have passed
That after your sweet divine kisses have faded
That after I no longer ache for you
Every single minute of every single day
That after I have no more words to write
After all this is past
I won’t want you
Anymore
Abyss
I tried to protect myself but in the process I thrust myself into an abyss and my cries now go unheard.
Imprinted
I took your hand within my own
And held it softly while you cried
My heart leapt out to dry your tears –
Your pain imprinted on my soul
Ever After
I will believe
In rainbows and roses
And kittens and snowdrops
In silhouette poses
And golden sunflowers
I will believe
That no one can hinder
True joy and laughter
That cruelty and war
And man’s quest for power
Is tied to this world
This natural form
I will believe
That all pain will pass
In a life ever after.
Life After
How do you be friends,
When you are no longer friends?
When you have lost yourself
In another’s eyes?
When you have lost your heart
To another’s charm?
When you have anticipated
Every fleeing moment?
And every kiss
Has kissed your very soul
How do you then,
Pray tell, only
Just be friends?
Agony
I guarded my heart
For I knew
That if I allowed him in
I would grieve forever
It took him a mere glance
To turn the key
Look inside
And walk away
Leaving my heart unguarded –
Forever loving him
And my life in agony
Suffocated
I lost myself
A long time ago
I look around
To see a void
Where is the child I was
The girl I knew?
Buried beneath pain
And death –
Suffocated
Empathy
Yesterday I was upset with my son for getting his punctuation wrong. I am always such a bossy mother, telling him to do this, do that, do the next thing. Please.
This evening I came home in tears. Always feeling a failure, never really fitting it, being socially awkward and introverted. Being technically weak in a technical role.
My son came and sat with me in my room. He rubbed my back for me and comforted me. The others in the house continued what they were doing.
And I thought to myself. My son’s heart touched mine. He entered into my pain. He had and has always had a special gift of empathy. We are born with souls. Sometimes it gets crowded out. At the end of the day, who cares about punctuation? What does it really matter?
Feeling Pain
It took three weeks to stop feeling pain when breastfeeding my firstborn. It was so clear in my mind, he was born on a Friday, and the Friday three weeks after I had no pain. After that it was smooth sailing. One of the best feelings for a woman is breastfeeding. But only after the initial pain has passed.
Currently I am feeling pain. It has been a pain for two months and counting. An emotional pain. It appears in my mind at least every day. One day it will pass. And then I will be on the other side. There will be no more pain. But today, it is still there.
Waiting to be healed. Waiting to reach the other side.
Poems and Petals 