I feel sick to my core
When I remember your tender eyes
Your tender hands
Your kisses
Your smile
I feel sick to my core
Remembering places and feelings
Excitement
Pulsing
I cannot even understand
How you were never mine
How you loved but didn’t
How you ghosted every time
And even though I wish
I had never laid eyes on you
I wish more
That you could have loved me
I don’t understand
I cannot understand
That you didn’t
How could you have loved me
The way you did so fully
But not loved me?
If people were robots
I could make you
Love me
I could make you
Kiss me
Over and
Over again
But people are not robots
And I cannot make you
Love me
Or kiss me
Over and
Over again
I cannot make you
Greet me
Or smile at me
Or laugh with me
Or talk to me
You are not a robot and
You have
Your own
Free will
Your face flickers
In front of me
Your eyes haunt
The depth of me
You haunted every nightmare
That terrorized my darkest night
I screamed myself awake
Blinded by the sudden light
Heart pulsing to escape
I wiped away my tears
I dare not close my eyes again
Overpowered by my fears
And I don’t care if you know it, because all I do is write poetry and books and blogs and not even tell you, and what is my life worth anyway if I can’t even tell you how I feel, and I loved you from when I first set eyes on you and you took my breath away, and I loved you from when I traced my fingers over your lips and you kissed me in the sweetest moment, and I loved every moment that we spent alone together, and in the end I hated the ghosting, and it’s over now, and I still
Love you
I thought I saw him today but I was mistaken, but before I was mistaken I felt that jolt in my stomach of butterflies, and then I thought I heard him and this time I was not mistaken, he appeared out of nowhere all cheerful and with people and then disappeared again so quickly, he never greeted and I never greeted, and my heart is broken, the pieces are scattered all over the floor because I simply
Miss him
My lips are parched
Holding out for your kiss
No sweet savour have they tasted
No drops of water to provide relief
My lips are so dry
Since the day
You left
Please
I resent every part of me
That took a stand and
Stood up for myself
The adult within
That said you will not
Abuse the child within
The adult is still there
Lurking in the dark
While the child cries
Uncontrollably
Until I feel whole again
Until I am not obsessing every single morning, noon and night
Until I no longer hope that you will contact me
Until I erase your touch from my memory –
Your sweet delicious lips that got me every single time?
How long?
(Make it go away)
Poems and Petals 