Barbed Wire


My mind closes rank

On itself and on myself

I reach past the barbed

Wire capturing my freedom

And the harder I reach, the closer

The wire encroaches on my well-being

Threatening to destroy my world, my life

And all of me

Falling Leaves

Wind chimes
Sing in the sparkling
Light of autumn sun

Blue skies
Rejoice in a changing
World of falling leaves

Color adorns
Landscapes of an
Approaching winter

Exposed

I never stood a chance

Never could have 

With an exposed heart

Of tender flesh 

And no shell to protect –

It was there for the taking 

Sacred

I will hold my heart

In tender hands

I will wrap my heart

In silken cloth

I will protect

My most sacred self

That was ravaged

By a spineless wolf

Time Bomb

I’m okay and not okay 

I’m waiting for the winds

To carry me away

To mountains high

Or valleys low 

My eyes cry tears

My heart weeps too 

For pain and loss 

And constant sorrow 

Time goes by 

To steal the child 

And turn us ever 

Older, wiser

Until a time 

The ticking stops

Forever

Starting Work

My first full time position was a pretty cool graduate position at IBM. Yes. That IBM. I managed to land this plum position partly because I studied a computer degree and so I qualified for it, and partly because of the interview. I quite confidently assured the executive director (or whatever important title he had), that yes I do have weaknesses, and one being that I am an alcoholic. (What I really meant to say is I am a workaholic). 

He was shocked, and so was I. It was awkward. I blushed like a tomato, and above all of this it was funny. No, I am definitely not an alcoholic. No, not me. 

And so I got the job. And I started. And I hated it. I did not fit in. I was placed into a business strategy team (or something), and not a technical team. There didn’t seem to be any technical teams, only sales and marketing and business-related stuff. I needed technical.

My mother died suddenly, and so without having anyone to disappoint, I left. I did so without having another job lined up. I didn’t care. I left at the end of July, and on 1 September I started a new job. A job I loved.

For the time it lasted.

A Moment

Colors merge into one
Images melted from
Memories

Running with the wind
Into your embrace –
A moment

Rushing with the thrill
Kissing with passion
I remember

Delicate

My heart tears

For every whip

That lashed

Across tender

Skin

My eyes well

For every slice

That cut

Across delicate

Layers

I cry

For every time

I made myself

Worth less

Illusion

Without the magic
Of the highest highs
And the lowest lows
The waiting, anticipating,
Hoping, thrilling
To be remembered
To be kissed
To be loved
Each day morphs into night
Each night morphs into day
My life is without light
My heart is without hope
My flesh is without fantasy
And the most powerful magic is
Illusion

He’s Gone

He’s lost to me –

My heart is as empty as

An ever-expanding hole of

The blackest space

He is dead to me

And yet my mind cannot comprehend

My flesh cannot accept

My dreams cannot understand

That he is gone from me

And never coming back