I’ll follow the signs
Where they might lead
I’ll follow the light
Through a jumbled maze
I will trust in the source
That higher power
Of heaven and earth
And the universe
I will trust in grace
For this I know
My Lord loves me –
He loves me so!
I’ll carry a loving light with me –
I will hold it in my hand
So it can shine forth and
Dispel any darkness that may
Blind me without and
Within
Photo by Guilherme Stecanella on Unsplash
My old garments fit me no more
So I’ve torn them off
I’d rather be naked –
Vulnerable to the ray of the sun
Than to squeeze my very existence
Into a cloth that no longer fits.
Photo by Lucas Pimenta on Unsplash
It is okay to not know the doors that will open.
And to trust that indeed doors will open.
We will not be stuck in the same room forever.
Our wings will open, our lungs will expand and we
Will be ready to fly.
We do indeed have a finite number of heartbeats and though it may feel like it will beat forever, sadly or not so sadly, it will not.
And I am reminded of this with my irregular jumping heartbeat that is palpitating in my chest. My Monday trip to the doctor may have to be tomorrow instead.
What is the key to happiness? A question presented to myself and others today.
It was interesting to hear the responses. Family, relationships, health, loving what you do, life moments etc.
I came home and asked my children the question. My daughter, without skipping a beat, said simply “family”. I prompted her on it. She said to me family keeps you safe and happy. It does indeed.
My son replied with ‘meditation’. I asked him what does he know about meditation? He replied by saying ‘nothing, but that’s what he learnt in his religion class at school’. Fair enough!
What is the key to my happiness? I have spent years in anxiety and depression. Perhaps it sounds cynical to say the key to my happiness is my SSRI medication.
And recently it is public speaking. Public speaking and poetry makes me happy.
As well as hot tea, reading, writing and my cosy bed. The simple things in life.
This morning I could hear my self-talk starting. That critical inner voice that is just so cruel and merciless. And more than that, I could feel my own self-talk.
I felt berated. Angry. Frustrated. Irritated.
Eventually, I confided in a friend. Someone got the better of me. Yes, my friend agreed, someone did get the better of you.
I decided to take some time out to be still. My past actions have all been my own. My decisions have all been made by myself. With my own motives, my own desires, my own uniqueness.
How then did someone get the better of me. They did not. The only thing getting the better of me is my own self-talk.
That cruel, merciless voice.
But that is not me. I was created with love. I was created in a moment of love (or so I’ve been told). I am love.
I’m aware of my thoughts
The cruel self-talk that criticizes
That esteems others higher than myself
And judges my self-worth through those
Who do not matter and do not care
What I may have done
What I might still do
Are all my choice
I am walking my own path
And it is absolutely mine
To walk
Anticipation –
Spine-tingling moments waiting
For your magic touch
Poems and Petals 