I believe in myself
My talents and my will
I believe in myself
My craft and my skill
I believe in my mind
My heart and my soul
I believe in myself
I can and I will
I won’t let me down
Through the night
Or the dawn
I will draw strength
From the deep endless well
Of courage and my grit
To live the best life
I was born to fulfill.
I took a risk and changed my world. I took a risk and stepped outside. I took a risk and all along, it seemed to be my honest prayer. The skies had cleared, the clouds were gone, for one brief time my heart felt strong. But just as soon as all was said, the clouds built up, so grey and dark. They threatened storms, they hung down low, I closed my eyes to make it go. The thunder stormed, the hailstones fell, all peace was gone, replaced by hell. But life is strange, we need the rain, if only to see for once the glorious bow. I took a risk and now it’s done. The door is closed, I must move on. There will be another, a door for me. There will be another, a golden key. So now dear friends, I lay my head, I will sleep for now, to gather strength. For strength I need to see ahead. I need all strength. I must be strong.
It’s scary, it sure is. When the rug is pulled from under your feet. I flounder with my flailing arms, grasping for an anchor. Who will catch me, who will care? I throw the question to the air. But this I know and this I trust. I will be lifted to a higher ground. I walked in courage, I walked with faith. And courage and faith will see me right.
Tender moments feed my
Soul.
Touch my skin.
Quench my
Desire.
Tender moments spark my
Love.
Draw me nigh.
Light my
Fire.
Our last time
Together
Left it’s rotten mark
All over my feminine flesh
My desire for you evaporated
With the departing of your
Well worn shoes.
Violent dripping blood
Angry
Furious
Exploding
Shouts and screams
To cowering ears –
Close your eyes
Lest you be scarred.
Armed with a naked courage and a certain level of tenacity that has weathered me well, I step forth into this day. Fearing what will be and fearing what will not, I pull my shoulders back and flick my hair off my face so it falls effortlessly around my neck. Soft scents of my perfume waft across my face and in that moment I absolutely resolve. will not cry. If my world crumbles around my feet, I will position myself on top the heap and honor all that was and all that will still be.
And I will not cry.
Poetry is my friend when all others have fled.
Poetry is my life in amongst all the endless strife.
Poetry is my day when the night begins to fade, and my night when the sun transforms itself to shade.
When I have nowhere to turn and my every step is blocked
When there are no more words to say but I cannot turn away
It is poetry that dries my tears and strokes my cheeks and holds me tight and comforts me.
It is poetry for me, the words and boundless grace.
Poetry. My friend my enemy my foe.
If I had known beforehand what I know now, would my footsteps have been any different? I walked in faith and so it must be, in faith I must continue to walk. What will be will always be, and what will not be will never be.
For now my head rests against a pillow and there is nothing more to be said or done but for my eyes to close and my soul to pray.
And I know my Lord will hold me tight. For now and all through this long and treacherous night.
My chest is constricting so much that I cannot breath. My heart is freezing like the water turning to ice on a mid-winters morn. For a few random breaths I was as happy as I would ever be and I had faith in the realm in which I was held.
Tomorrow I find out my fate. Will I be gone or will I live another day?
To survive the night is a bitter torment and my flesh writhes in agony. Is there anywhere else I can be?
I fear not. The demons of the night are here to torment. When I fall asleep my dreams are nightmares. I wake to only find another one awaits.
Poems and Petals 