My Own

December 30, 2019December 30, 2019Vonita 2 Comments

So many years

To battle the show

So many years

To never let go

So many tears

To slide down my face

So many tears

I will have you know

That now is the time

To claim as –

To claim as my

Own.

So Many Days

December 29, 2019Vonita 3 Comments

So many days I willed a call

A knock on my soft unbroken willing heart

That touch, that look I so desired

Never arrived –

It never was.

Trapped

November 3, 2019January 14, 2020Vonita 4 Comments

I’m feeling unsettled

Insecure it may seem

Past trauma has surfaced

A very bad dream.

Stuck in a limbo

No way through or out

If no escape I can find

I will scream, yell and shout!!

Don’t leave me please don’t leave me I pray

Your silence tortures me

I beg you to stay!

Oh please please please love me and this is my pain

Right here this child inside neglected, ignored

I was not good enough, not worth enough

I was never the one

I feel it now the rejection runs strong

It’s trapped inside it’s trapped within

Lodged under my skin.

Find Your Voice

August 30, 2019Vonita 8 Comments

I’m having a bad hair day, said I. Not only that but a bad shoe day as well, and in general I’m having a bad day.

Find your voice, I was told. I never knew my voice was lost, thought I.

And so it was, and so it is, the cycle repeats and my fears arise. My eyes are the first to react. My tightening heart forces the tears to form. Watery pools surface the lens of my sight. I’m triggered and I know it and feel it. I’m living my fear and that’s okay.

I will live it and allow it to be.

I love me.