Emptiness

My emptiness is a step in space

I’m floating without anchor

Into the darkness of the void

I wish for you my love

Thar you may grab my hand

Yanking me back onto

You.

Alone, as I am, my heart sinks

Mother, I’m Waiting

My mother visited my dream last night

My child where have you been, she cried

“It was not me that went away,

I’m always waiting” – my soft reply.

My mother left, she flew from me

In the dark of night

Through a starry sky

Days have passed, years have too

I’ve waited waited waited

I’m waiting still

I’m waiting for my mother’s

Sweet return.

Victory

Tell me no

I will be inspired

Shut the door

I will find a way

Close the blinds

I will see the light

For every failure I endure

For every fall that knocks me down

Will fuel the fire of my passion

Power of the

Victory

Ice

It was too much I could not ask

Of more than you I had

You were so warm for one short hour

Now all the warmth is gone

Snow is cold my lips are blue

Yet still my heart cries out –

Still I know the you I crave

Is frozen into

Ice

Warm Hands

Tender hands so warm

Placed upon my hungry skin

Yours are all I need

Jealousy

silent predator

slithering into my heart

eating me alive

My Own

So many years

To battle the show

So many years

To never let go

So many tears

To slide down my face

So many tears

I will have you know

That now is the time

To claim as –

To claim as my

Own.

So Many Days

So many days I willed a call

A knock on my soft unbroken willing heart

That touch, that look I so desired

Never arrived –

It never was.

Trapped

I’m feeling unsettled

Insecure it may seem

Past trauma has surfaced

A very bad dream.

Stuck in a limbo

No way through or out

If no escape I can find

I will scream, yell and shout!!

Don’t leave me please don’t leave me I pray

Your silence tortures me

I beg you to stay!

Oh please please please love me and this is my pain

Right here this child inside neglected, ignored

I was not good enough, not worth enough

I was never the one

I feel it now the rejection runs strong

It’s trapped inside it’s trapped within

Lodged under my skin.

Find Your Voice

I’m having a bad hair day, said I. Not only that but a bad shoe day as well, and in general I’m having a bad day.

Find your voice, I was told. I never knew my voice was lost, thought I.

And so it was, and so it is, the cycle repeats and my fears arise. My eyes are the first to react. My tightening heart forces the tears to form. Watery pools surface the lens of my sight. I’m triggered and I know it and feel it. I’m living my fear and that’s okay.

I will live it and allow it to be.

I love me.