Author Vonita

Growing

Vonita 13 Comments

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Yesterday I wrote about all the qualities I would like my daughter to have. Confidence, leadership, self-esteem etc. And ended my post by concluding that she is everything I am not. I have updated the conclusion to add that I can grow to have those qualities too. If we are alive we are either growing or dying. I am not dead or dying. I can still grow to have those qualities I feel I lack. Truth is, I am stronger than I believe. I had the courage to move my family to a safer country. To leave everything I knew behind. My life, my home, my work, my family, and start a life in a new world. I have had the courage to say no to my children, and discipline them when required. I have the courage to be honest with myself, and I have the courage to grow.

Today

Vonita 7 Comments

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Today
Is when my dreams come true
Today
Is where my love shine through
Today
Is when I take those steps
To share my heart and life with you

Match-maker

Vonita 9 Comments

A post I read yesterday took me back a few years. There is only one blogger I know in real life and she is the author of Reaching Meadow Lane.

The person she wrote about in her blog post yesterday was someone who joined our company at a very special time in my life. I was single and had finally accepted my fate. He started in the January of 2001, and his first task was to manage an IT project I had been assigned to. Along with two engineers who had recently joined our company. I remember walking into the kitchen and the manager lamented the fact that he had no “cooking clue” what he was doing in his new role outside of the military. Oh don’t worry about that, I quickly replied, I never have a cooking clue! A quote that stuck!
The four of us worked on the project in the jan, feb and March of that year. The project was successful and the two engineers and myself were given complimentary movie tickets “on the project”. A little match-making, I daresay 😉 Towards the end of March my one colleague started waiting for me in the basement so he could carry my laptop for me. Ha! On the 1st of April, a Sunday, we entered into a relationship. Up until that point he had been trying his best to remain a bachelor. Double ha! Gotcha! The following January we married, and are now living our happily ever after.

Congrats on the news in the US that those who would like to take the step of commitment may now have the opportunity to do so.

Inspired by the following post:
https://reachingmeadowlane.wordpress.com/2015/06/25/military-man-protection/

Being Secure

6 Comments

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Take It From Me.”

This morning I feel insecure. It is a feeling inside that makes me feel like I am not anchored. Like I am floating in the wind. Floating higher when winds are light and breezy, and sinking lower when the winds begin to change. Leaving me deflated and questioning everything about myself.

I try and teach my daughter to be the leader of her life. Possess confidence, self-esteem, be secure in herself, not be subject to opinions of others, to know her own mind. So far, she is all of these things. I was too scared to speak to people when I was her age. I’m still reserved in person. I love having others around me. But am reserved in my interactions. My daughter is confident and self-assured – everything I am not. I can grow to be those things too.

My Purpose in Life

Vonita 15 Comments

When I was a child, I used to dream of being a mother and having babies. In high school I dreamt of getting high grades, and put as much effort as I could to do as well as I could. But my career ambitions seemed to stop at that point. I wanted a job in which I could earn enough to support myself, and give me something to do. And not be bored out of my mind. (I was granted that wish!). But that was about the extent of my career ambitions. My head was too much in *romance*. I went to a convent and had zero interaction with males. No joke. I never knew any my age. At fifteen I kissed a boy at a school disco. I had only just met him that night. My mother found out (because *somebody* told her), and it was awful being lectured by her. No kissing boys you don’t know. No kissing boys! (Can I go now?). Alas, I never heard from the lucky guy again. Though I dreamt and prayed that he would call. He had memorised my number after all. Oh, the perils of convent life.

When I was all of 24 and single I was asked the question what do I dream about for my career. I could only reply by saying I dream about getting married to a good man, and having children. I do not dream about careers. (Hmm, CLM (career limiting move) much?) It took a couple more years.

And now, I love being around my children. One aspect of my mothering skills is that I do not and have never patronized them. I do not fuss. I always treated my children with respect. The sooner they could do things for themselves and take responsibility, the better. They are both great kids. Loving, respectful, responsible, easy to be around.

Nowadays when I dream about my future, I dream about writing to my heart’s content, doing Pilates at my local gym on weekday mornings, grandkids in some distant future, spending time with my BFF, and just being me. Not the me that struggles with everything everyday. Always feeling manic and out of control.

I would love to travel to a few places. The U.S., see my family in South Africa again, Canadian rocky mountains, Europe etc!

And I still dream about romance.

Inspired by the following post:
The What For

Afar

Vonita 16 Comments

I heard bad news
From afar
Suffering and agony
I want to help
Wish for a magic wand
But there is no wand
Or magic
And the tales
Are too sad
To tell
It breaks my heart

Don’t

Vonita 8 Comments

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I asked you to stay away
I asked you not to touch
I asked you to never stray
It wasn’t very much

So next time you want
To draw very near
Next time you long
To drift over here

Don’t

Never Been To Me

Vonita 15 Comments

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Mix Tape Masterpiece.”

Hey, you know what paradise is?
It’s a lie, a fantasy we create about people and places as we’d like them to be
But you know what truth is?
It’s that little baby you’re holding, it’s that man you fought with this morning
The same one you’re going to make love with tonight
That’s truth, that’s love

Charlene – I’ve never been to me

Red Heels

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The bus was crowded
Standing, pushing, holding on
You were seated, sitting, resting
When I climbed on with the throng
We have been together
You and I
In nights and days
That since have passed
Heels no comfort offered
As I stood and rode along
You smiled and greeted
Remained seated
As I stood standing
Amongst the crowd
Alone