Clearly I was not meant for you

Clearly you were not meant for me

Clearly we were not meant to be

But oh my love I loved you so

You stole my heart

I loved you so.

She’s not gone it cannot be

Oh my mother don’t leave me

You birthed me loved me helped me grow

We argued fought but even so

You’re my mom you cannot go

From this realm, please say you won’t!

But now you’ve left I’m all alone

All alone I need my mom

I need my mom to care for me

I need my mom to help me be

She is gone I’m so alone.

She’s gone

Two words to break my world to crack the floor to rip the heart right out my chest.

She’s gone

Final. Absolute. It’s done.

I fall collapse into a heap I fall I roll into a ball.

She’s gone

No! It cannot be. And yet it is. I’m black I see black I hear black I’m lost within the void.

It’s so black my world is dead I cannot see. Nothing to hold. The emptiness devours me whole.

She’s gone.

My poetry came back

In time to usher in a new dawn

To calm my nerves, to calm me down

My poetry came back

To caress my hair and stroke my face

And gently lull me down to sleep

My poetry came back

Those words that went astray

Nowhere to be found and none at bay

My poetry came back

For expression, for hope, for comfort

For joy

My poetry came back

It came back

Returned

To me.

I need a structure to my day

I need to know the words to say

I need a routine to the hours

I need the letters to write a prose

I need a frame I cannot cope

Without a structure or a rope

Something to hold on tight

Something to see me through the night

My mind is turmoiled I’m at sea

Floundering floundering

Please help me