On not being a project manager 

I often wished I could be a project manager. Project managers have options. They can grow their careers. Move into general management. Become senior managers. Portfolio managers.

But today it hit me like a ton of bricks. Why I could never be, and why I am not a project manager. I hate asking people to do things. And waiting for them to do it. And following up.

It is a fear-based thing. Today I had to follow up something with someone. And the feeling it invoked in me. I was back to a child again having to ask an elder for something. And fearing the rebuke. Not wanting to nag. Impose. Having to rely on someone. 

I don’t ask for my lawn to be mowed. I pay someone to do it. I pay for handyman services.

At least now I understand why.