Stillness

May 15, 2018Vonita 2 Comments

Sometimes

We need to set aside

Our desires, our wishes

Our wants, our strife

And simply be

Still

Solitary Pillow

March 9, 2017Vonita 3 Comments

I am filled with so much pain

A torment sitting right behind my eyes

Threatening to push out the well of tears

I hold back the gates, force them to stay closed

A lone drop escapes and falls

Leaving a smudge against the

Solitary pillow

Two’s a Crowd

December 4, 2016Vonita 3 Comments

I can’t breathe

I can’t move

I can’t speak

I can’t be

I need room

I need solitude

I need quiet

I need space

Voices

July 12, 2016July 12, 2016Vonita 4 Comments

I hear voices
In my dreams
And when I wake
Voices soft
And voices still
Voices laughing
Voices shrill
I hold out my hands
To have but a touch
Of voices on surround
But as I do
The voices fade

Into darkness

Leaving me
On my own
Alone

Still Waters

May 27, 2016Vonita 19 Comments

Fighting
Pushing
Shoving

Families torn
Hearts betrayed

Manipulating
Bitching
Threatening

I take a moment
To be still

And see the water
In a glass
In front of me

Recognition

April 29, 2016April 29, 2016Vonita 11 Comments

I love recognition. It is one of those personality shortcomings of mine that I wish I didn’t have. I love to be recognized for the work I do. It is a motivator for me. Not that it has happened for a while (and that in itself is frustrating). Friends of mine are not like that. They get given a job to do, and get on with it. Leave the recognition for those that are caught up with it. Somewhere inside it feels like I have a point to prove. I was like that at school, and it has never really left. I had a point to prove then. I had a speech impediment, and was considered a ‘special needs’ child. Rejection caused me to seek approval.

But what point do I still have to prove? That I can do the job? I know I can (um, with a bit of help and tenacity, maybe). I am smart? Sometimes I am, and sometimes it passes me by (cue the pano shot story I wrote about). Math and numbers are easy for me, so I know I am smart there.

My focus is all on the wrong things. Perhaps I should use some solitude to embrace being me. With no recognition required! There is no me like me (thank goodness for that, one of me I think is enough).