I love recognition. It is one of those personality shortcomings of mine that I wish I didn’t have. I love to be recognized for the work I do. It is a motivator for me. Not that it has happened for a while (and that in itself is frustrating). Friends of mine are not like that. They get given a job to do, and get on with it. Leave the recognition for those that are caught up with it. Somewhere inside it feels like I have a point to prove. I was like that at school, and it has never really left. I had a point to prove then. I had a speech impediment, and was considered a ‘special needs’ child. Rejection caused me to seek approval.
But what point do I still have to prove? That I can do the job? I know I can (um, with a bit of help and tenacity, maybe). I am smart? Sometimes I am, and sometimes it passes me by (cue the pano shot story I wrote about). Math and numbers are easy for me, so I know I am smart there.
My focus is all on the wrong things. Perhaps I should use some solitude to embrace being me. With no recognition required! There is no me like me (thank goodness for that, one of me I think is enough).