What does it feel like
When your lover puts his arm around another
What does it feel like
When you see your lover kiss another
Take a breath
When the pain is scorched into your heart
For now you know
Your lover loves another
And you are left alone
The lights were off
There was no one home
I called your name
I called for you
But my voice
Echoed back to me
You were not here
You were nowhere
And your absence
Lingers still
If I could wish you
Next to me
Holding me
Caressing me
Touching me
Kissing me
If I could wish you
Loving me
I would
I cut off all the dead branches
That I was hoping would flower
Fruits to eat
I wept over the dead wood
Mourning the loss of that
Which was never or not
My tears watered the soil
That was dry from neglect
And through my sorrow
New branches formed
With life and vitality
Bearing fresh fruits
Sweet to eat
I dreamt of you
That your heart would beat
In tune with mine
I dreamt of
The breathing of my soul
When your energy
Would infuse with mine
I dreamt of love
And passion
And union
Until the night was over
And the rising sun
Illuminated so clearly
That the romance was over
The dreams were gone
And it’s a new day
I have to face
Alone
If only
My thoughts were kept
Inside my head
If only
My heart was held
Inside my breast
If only
My words were silent
Inside my mind
If only
My smile never faltered
From my face
If only
My eyes had sparkled
Never melting tears
If only
My hands held flowers
Behind my back
Perhaps then
Perhaps
I would be the one
Perhaps I would be
The one
My heart is drowning
In oceans of its own tears
It grabs a quick breath
Before sinking below the
Surface of my sorrow
My longing
My pain
My loss
Band-aid my heart
My heart that is broken
Apart
I blink back the tears
As the stinging starts
From inside me I can feel
My eyes redden as pools
Of water well up
And start to overflow
I swallow and try to deny
The pain inside of me
I had a crush on him
He was the sun and the moon and the stars in the sky
He was everything I dreamed him to be
I’d always been a flower on the wall
So I did what I could for him to notice me
I spruced and preened and plucked and tanned
I batted my eyelashes and changed my style
And he noticed me, he did I can say
But it was not enough for him to stay
For more than the fleeting moment when he grasped my hand
And for that moment my heart leapt up, my world became alive
He moved on to brighter lands
Leaving me with a memory so many moons ago
Of a solitary moment when he noticed me
Took my hand in his own
And then let it go
I had a mother for a while
A woman to care for me
She cared
She loved
She shared
She cried
Until that day arrived
When suddenly
Without warning
She died
.
Poems and Petals 