Tag loss

An Hour or Few

Vonita Leave a comment

What would it mean

To see my mother again?

To speak for just an hour or few

We could share so much of

What has been, the days of now

We could speak of how the world has changed

Lives since gone and lives now new

Her dogs and cat and partner ceased

Oh mom – our family, our home now gone.

Oh mom, I miss you oh so much

Every day, every year I miss your touch

A mother’s hand a gift so kind

To every child that’s born

To every heart that beats

Oh mom, I have my own children now

Your grandchildren you would love so much

Oh mom – how I wish!

For you to be here once more

To be here again for another

Hour or few.

Where Are You?

Vonita 8 Comments

I reach my hand to touch your face

And find your face not there

I long to trace your fingertips –

Your hands are nowhere near

I wish to look into your eyes

And meet your soul with mine

Your image haunts my every dream!

I want to shout and scream

Where are you, in this world?

All I have are thoughts

And sweet reminders of the times

We touched and loved and kissed

I hunger now for you, my love

The memories have to fill

That aching void that never goes

It stays with me through all.

Lead Me

Vonita Leave a comment

My pain is a delicate globe, carefully held between my hands.

I will use it to channel energy, sharpen focus, and to change.

My sorrow is nudging me. Am I listening?

Speak! I am here, my eyes can see, my ears can hear. My soul can feel.

I hear you. I am not afraid.

Sadness open the way! Lead me and I will go.

Sinking

Vonita 11 Comments

Give me poetry when I start to drown

Into the abyss of my internal distress

Wrap me in words when rain soaks my

Humor until there is none left

Poetry!

My longing, my heartache, my desire

My loss

Be my water

Cleanse me from head to toe

I need you

No Regrets?

Vonita 9 Comments

jasper-graetsch-547554-unsplash.jpg

Photo by Jasper Graetsch on Unsplash

No regrets
Since I took your hand
And lead you close to me

No regrets
Since I leaned across
And whispered in your ear

No regrets
For every touch
And all falling tears

No regrets
For every word
That echoed thoughts of you

No regrets
For ever loving you

No regrets

If only this were true

 

In Memory

Vonita 11 Comments

There were times I loved you

There were times I feared

There were times I knew to quickly

Disappear

There were tears and smiles and hugs

And joy

There were all the gifts you bought to share

You were my dad, the father I knew

And now you are gone, my sorrow is strong

I remember your hugs, your voice and your

Care

I am your daughter, your flesh and your

Song.

My Heart is in Parts

Vonita 2 Comments

I closed a door and opened a new one to

Magical unexplored worlds of bravery

Courage

Fortitude

My sick body holds my heart

Shattered into infinite pieces

I wish to be everywhere but find

I am nowhere

My heart that was tender and soft

Is in parts.

To My Mother

Vonita 24 Comments

I see you in my dreams

I hear you in my mind

I feel you in my heart

I remember the very night

You flew from the land

And from my life

I am married now, Ma

I have a beautiful boy

And a daughter who looks like you

You are a grandmother now, Ma

Your legacy to the world

Your purpose lives on

I live your lessons every day

In my heart and in my life

And all I have is one tiny message

From my heart to yours

After all this time and what has been

Your baby girl is okay

Xx

In memory of my mother

28 April 1951 – 19 April 1996

Faucet

Vonita 5 Comments


The love I held for you 

Was such an intimate part of myself

That your translucent face haunting 

My lonely heart has direct access

To the faucet of my tears 

Grace for Today

Vonita 2 Comments

It is a lesson once again to be thankful and grateful for our lives, and the air we breathe. We are alive! We breathe! Yay for that.

The birds outside are chirping, and the sun is rising. Grace for today, that is my prayer.

My mother left us too soon. It is strange how you can have a life, a home, everything around you as it is, and then suddenly you are no longer there. Just plucked from your life, and there you go, dead. 

I sometimes think about the life my mother left behind. If she suddenly returned how everything has changed. Her home is no longer. Her children have married. She would be a grandmother. There is google. There are smartphones. Can you believe that 21 years there was no google? 

The last time I saw my mother she was wearing a blue sweater I bought her. She was going on an overseas vacation with my father. We drove to the airport, hugged goodbye, and then she was gone. I was 21, soon to be 22. 

On an airplane and out my life.