“Money can’t buy happiness” they said
But in all that time of stress and strife
An income sure would help my life
So I lowered my head and did what I could
To gather some coins and reams of yarn
I knitted a scarf of grey and blue –
Money can’t buy happiness it’s true
Though it can pay rent and food and wool.
I define my own narrative. I am not defined by others thoughts of who I am and what I can do. I will take my own chances and risks. An opportunity will arise. It has to. And it will.
I believe. I have faith. I trust.
Sometimes it can feel that everyone is in on a game except for you. Perhaps you feel that you are the weakest link. That you have played as a team but never scored a single goal. That you have spent more of your time stumbling than actually playing.
Perhaps you have not even stumbled but rather fallen. On the ground with legs in air.
What to do if you find yourself in a situation like this. What do you do if you find yourself kissing the ground? Well. This is an awkward position to be in. And let’s not sugarcoat this. It is not flattering. (Yes, we do care). So there is only one thing to do. Kiss the ground right back, put your hands down, and stand up. Don’t forget to dust off! Because being covered in dust (even whilst standing) is not flattering either.
Hands on ground. This is important. Hands on ground anchors you. It helps find solid ground. It restores your bearings, and helps you find your balance.
Quite often, I find myself stumbling. Not quite in the literal sense, but with words. With interactions. With sentences, and communication. How to communicate effectively? How to interact effectively? How to respond when I have no words? How to speak with authority?
As much preparation as I feel I can do, it still never feels enough. There is still a “gotcha” lying in wait, waiting to trip me up. And I trip often. But, and here’s the thing, I will not be defeated. Hands on ground, dust off, stand up, step forward.
I will not be defeated. In every battle I face, I will be brave. I will overcome. I will be defined not by my failures, but my tenacity. My Passion. My Strength.
Losing my grip I stumble and fall
Sink in further to the abyss of the deadliest
Faltering I open my hands
Allow myself to be swept away in mires of
Night looms large it’s towering presence
I’ll hide until the unwavering sun ushers in a
On the other side lies an unseen
Beckoning hope and promising
Of stars a-glitter and full moons;
Suns of gold and a whispering morn
Night separates here from there
Dark from light
A freezing winter from fall.
Carry me safely
Hold me tenderly
Deliver me to the other
Boxes, little boxes
Lock and strangle us
In this world where all is pain
Find the freedom to be free
I’ve been searching
Fighting every blinding tree
It has happened, godsend blessing
A perfect fitting form for me
I will not waste, I will not want
I will say thank you and
I have to believe
I have to see
That the future is holding out
All that is good
All that is good for me
I cling and I fall
I swing and after all
I get back up again
Punch me once
Punch me twice
I will – I will overcome.
A stone emerged from the water
Smooth as silk and brown as the bark of a weathered oak tree
Water rushed by hurriedly to its destination wherever that might be
Tentatively I stepped forward
One little step
And there I was
Right in the midst of the gushing stream
The earth stood its ground behind me
The other side was too far
But right in front of me, another stone emerged
Calm and smooth and offering somewhere to stand
My own stepping