A Smile

Over the past few weeks (months even), I’ve been somewhat burdened – life stress mounting and not always knowing how to handle situations. A general feeling of being overwhelmed perhaps is the right choice of words.

This evening I was challenged by the irrepressible Erika (I’m Free) to see the positives. (Which I must add I try to do as a practice, though the heavy feeling inside of me still persists).

Not five minutes after reading her message and thinking on it, a very sweet lady sitting next to me on the bus turned and thanked me for sharing my seat with her. I was sitting on a “one-seater” at the front and moved up to make space for her. She said it was very kind of me, and she really appreciated it. It was my stop soon after, and she waved and smiled at me as the bus drove past. She smiled with such a sweet, kindly smile it was impossible not to be touched.

A small moment proving again a higher power is at work.

My Place

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Where is my place in the world?
Am I resigned to the shadows
To live as quietly as I possibly can
Watching those in the sun
While I observe from afar

Is it my place to abide
To make peace with the discontent
The passion that brews and causes me to ache
To long for the force to sweep me off my feet
Into whirlwinds of unknown worlds

Is it my place to quieten
The voices that rage within my heart
And wave them away with the brush
Of my calloused, nail-bitten hands
Speaking myself into a happiness I do not feel

Is it my place to be less than I ever dreamed
To excuse every failure I have made
And be content with what I have
So that nothing is lost but then
Everything is lost anyway

Is it my place to see the blue sky above
And know that the power that imagined creation into being
Is the same power that created me
And to feel one with the land, and the earth and the sea and the sky
Breathing in the same air as the living beings surrounding me

Is it my place to kneel before my Lord
And pray from the very core of my soul
I have not the answer to where my place is in the world
Or what I should be achieving, or doing, or striving for
But I yield my heart and the life that I am

That I can be of use to Thee
In small ways or great –
Now and forever
Not my will, Lord
But thine be done

Fighting Flesh

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I fight myself
The flesh that I am
Waging wars
Against worlds I find myself in
So I can fall
Onto my knees
And find my trust
My love
My everything
In Thee, my Savior, my Lord
My all

Flying High

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I fly to the light
I fly to you
I fly to where
The sun shines through

I fly with hope
I fly with love
I fly with wings
To heaven above

Love, Joy and Peace

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Gift to me, O Lord, I pray
Fruits that only Thou can give
Fill my heart with grace and truth
Love, joy and peace
And all things good

Sunday Prayer

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Draw me closer
Closer to Thee
Keep me nearer
Nearer to Thee
You are my Father
I am your child
On my knees, Lord
My heart prays to Thee

Bitter Pill

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Baggage Check.”

A few weeks ago I was hurt by someone. Struggling to deal with it, I want to lash out. My human nature craves revenge. I hate how you hurt me. I hate how I allowed you to hurt me. Daily, nightly I have to seek a soft heart. Forgiveness, love, hope and faith. Past experience has taught me that is the only way.

Morning Comfort

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When the day is quiet, still
I hear my Savior say
Do not worry, do not fret
I’m with you all the way

But Thine Be Done

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Not my will,
But thine.
I open my heart,
My life, and my soul.
I offer you all, so
That thy will
Be done.

Not My Will

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I dated a Polish boyfriend when I was at university. After we both started working, he began to hint at rings. I felt too young to get married, and also had reservations about marrying him. Though he was a lovely person and would make a great husband, I felt in my heart that we were not meant to be. So I ended the relationship. It took a few attempts. Breaking up is never easy, especially when there is no third party involved.

In ending the relationship when I did, I freed us both to meet our respective long-term partners. He met and married a beautiful woman. It took me three years to meet my husband. By this time I really wanted to be married, and have a family. My clock is ticking people, I’m halfway to thirty! Please! Only one man out of the whole world, surely that is not such a great request! It was only after pleading on my knees, that I finally came to a place of calm submission. Not my will but thine be done. Those words and prayer did not come easily. Not at all. And soon after, my husband-to-be and I started a relationship, and married soon after.

Sometimes we have to give up something to be open to receiving something better. And to have the spirit – not my will but thine be done. A prayer that goes against human nature, and all that our flesh would be.

I acted on kind feedback from others yesterday, and bought a new book!

Happy reading to me 🙂