I entered the room and saw him sitting on my bed. His face stony and humorless. Before I could wonder, my eyes dropped to the book in his hands. My book. My journal. Expressing my most intimate thoughts and feelings and desires. Recorded by my own hand. By myself and only for myself. You’ve betrayed me, he accused me glaringly. I can’t believe what you have written.
I apologized for the evil in me. I cried and pleaded and wished it away.
Only now do I realize:
He betrayed me.
Uncontrolled fingers
Run across blank slates
Releasing captive thoughts
Flying wild across
Unsuspecting landscapes
I hold my tongue
I tape my mouth
I blind my eyes
But fingers pried free
Betray
I had a wound
So deep and raw
I would flinch
Eyes filled with tears
The wound has healed
Etching scars across
My soft pale flesh
Reminders of the
Pain I no longer feel
And I don’t care
Any more
Perhaps
If I hurt enough
The pain will go away
Perhaps
If I cry enough
The tears will start to dry
Perhaps
If I allow myself
I will crown myself with beauty
Perhaps
If I never see you again
The song in my heart will return
Or perhaps
My heart will harden
And your power over me will be gone
It was only yesterday
When you called my name
It was only yesterday
When you lured me into your game
My back is against the wall
I gave you my best, my all
It was yesterday
All those times we shared behind me
And now I look forward to tomorrow
With you only in my memory
Tell me
Please tell me the truth
Of how eyes can look into my own
Melting my heart and caressing my skin
How do eyes reflect love and care
When there is nothing to reflect?
Tell me the truth
So I can use it as salt on my open wound
So that it would burn so deeply
That I would never, no never
Dare look into those eyes –
Eyes of deceipt
Ever again
You had my heart
Held in your hands
My life was yours to share
But what happened next
Cuts through my soul
Deep scars I cannot bare
We have to part, go on our way
Our separate lives to live-
All that’s left is my despair
Your words wrap around my heart
As your promises haunt my mind
Your deceit hangs like smoky air
Polluting my life with poisonous lies
Your love in all its to and fros
Highs and lows
Is as sunburn after a day on the beach
The bliss and joy and fun in the sun
Burns the skin leaving welts of whippings so bad
And I wonder
What did I ever do to make you behave
And do the things you do, behave as you always do?
If ever there was anyone who didn’t deserve my love, well what can I say? It’s you
Poems and Petals 