Focused on my son
Swimming diving splashing playing
A split second of eternity
Gently turned my head
To see her armbands
Discarded on the tiles
With golden hair submerged below deep
Cold cruel waters
I was too far
Angels!
My silent scream petitioned heavens and earth
An angel
Any, one, many, please!
In slow motion
I started to move
I managed
I reached her
I saved her
It was not me –
An angel turned my head
An angel heard my cry.
Life can be cruel
And with reflection
It has been cruel to me
But life can be kind too
And so with honesty
I am thankful for small mercies
A nightmare swallowed me
My drowning mother
I reached for her
I grabbed and pulled
She sank
I panicked
She was too far
My heart raced
I couldn’t breathe
She’s dying!
She’s dead.
I woke up
It’s her birthday next week
It was a dream – she is still alive
I will buy her a gift
So I bought her a gift
Which she never received
Because she was already
Dead.
It was to be my mother’s birthday
So I drove to the mall
To buy her a gift
Not knowing
That she was
Already
Dead
A six word story:
“Being nineteen and falling in love”
Play your guitar and do not stop!
For things that make me happy
Like guitar strings being strummed
Like music playing
Like my warm cosy bed
Like coffee
Like cake yum I love cake
Like a Johannesburg thunderstorm
Like watching movies on an airplane
Like every pay day, yay for pay days
Like swimming in the sea
Like massages
Like my hair being brushed
Like new clothes days
Like the quietness when I am still at night
And all I feel is peace and quiet
And I am safe and loved.
What happened to all that bravado:
“I play with you and I play with others
I show you the dark and I show you the light
To keep you from falling in love
Because I am not available
So no falling”
Blah blah blah blah blah
Same old same old
Okay
Whatever
Go and be ‘in love’, and I’m glad it’s not with me, yay.
Because actually.
I am not available.
I really need
My head read
Poems and Petals 