On Saturday our local school held a fair. It was a great day. Finally I found a suitable photo for this post. A balloon rainbow 🙂
I went to a fair
And saw you there
With your wife
And perfect life
My heart felt sore
I knew the pain
I wish you well
Til we meet again
In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Roy G. Biv.”
A beautiful Five Wish Truth, thank you Chris Jensen
A few days ago, I was upset at a comment a friend sent to me in an email. I consulted with a trusted friend (BFF!), and responded in a fashion that gave me the upper hand. In the middle of the night I woke up, and in that dream-like state, I sent a note flipping the situation around. Restoring dignity to another, and making myself less. I have spent the most of today wondering why did I do that? Why did I give the other person the upper hand, at the expense of my own ego? My ego would prefer to hold the power. Now after reflection, I am soulfully glad. I am not a mean person. I don’t enjoy seeing others suffer. My reaction to a situation in a half-asleep state is a reflection of who I inherently am. And when ego is set aside, it is who I would rather be. Peace be unto others, and peace be unto myself.
My moods have been up and down lately. Trying to talk myself into a better space, but always fighting this inner discontent. Have no idea how to fix it. I went to the cinema with my BFF this morning, we watched BoyChoir, I really loved the music. We had lunch with her mum. It was lovely. But as soon as I was alone, it all came tumbling back. My discord, disharmony, my struggle with life. What will make me happy? Is it really about happiness? Or an inner contentment, a spiritual peace? I seem to have none of these.
Very thankful for all the kind souls who have reached out, and left a kind word. Even written poems. From all different parts of the world, and varying life stories. We all have our own journey to walk. I am so blessed in many ways, it feels unthankful to have this feeling inside of me. This feeling I cannot seem to shake. It is there when I go to sleep, and when I wake up. When I live my day, when I am busy, and when I am still. Even now as I go about my daily tasks (work-free Monday), I cannot shake it off. And I have no more poetry! I cannot write another poem on ups and downs, and my roller coaster life.
And the worst part is, a caring friend asked me today — Vonita, what will make you happy? I have no idea! (A new life? No life? A new profession? Work? No work?) My moods were stable when I was on a four-month break. I was a different person. Content, happy, doing pilates, writing, photo challenges, focus-on-family. Now I have strife, turmoil, anxiety, stress, lack of time, focus-off-family, chaos.
My answer to what will make me happy? I have no idea. Write about it until I am dead in the grave. Pray. Get on my knees, and pray for contentment. A spiritual peace is not always about being happy.
Maybe I will put the poetry aside for awhile, and free write?
❤
When I am sad, write me glad
When I am down, write me up
When I am low, write me high
When I am blue, write me bright
When I despair, write me happy
Soaring
Soaring high
Soaring where my wings can fly
Release me now
Release my strife
Release me to eternal life
I’m out of words
I’m out of verse
Out of spice
And all things nice
I look around
And feel within
I wait and trust
For your love to win
Dark-skinned lady
Born in Africa far away
Leaned over and kissed my cheek
A soft butterfly kiss
Touching my face so gently
But touching my heart even more
Wrapped tightly in
Envelopes of green
A new flower forms
In response to The Daily Post’s weekly photo challenge: “Enveloped.”
Frustrated
At all that could be
Would be
Should be
But is not
And won’t be
You are not a puppet
I don’t hold your strings
Poems and Petals 