Black Dog

The demons attack
My mind, I try and
Shake them off, but
They hold on tight
I cry for freedom, let
Me go, but they don’t
My sword is not strong
Enough to kill them
And so I live, I survive
With the demons in my
Mind

Dances with Wolves

Last night we re-watched the 1990 classic Dances With Wolves, featuring a much younger Kevin Costner. It has made me feel sad, with the thought running through my mind, there is just no happy ending. The first time I watched it was in 1991, my second last year of high school. I watched it with my mother and a couple of my school friends at a now closed cinema (Flora Centre). When I think back on it now, it feels like a different lifetime away.

Keep on thinking of the original caretakers of the land, Bushman of the Kalahari, Australian Aboriginals, and the ongoing destruction of our planet. The wildlife on near-extinction lists, the destruction of the oceans etc.

What world do our children have to look forward to?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dances_with_Wolves

Going Grey

Portrait Of Grandmother With Daughter And Granddaughter

You don’t have to worry about going grey, Mom
We are all going to go grey
I’m going to go grey
My brother is going to go grey
Dad is going to go grey
Your mother would have gone grey too
It is nothing to be scared of
And besides
You look pretty with your grey

Angels

For the past four weeks we have been cycling on Saturday mornings. My husband is a cyclist and my son is turning out to be an ace on a bike too. If I don’t join them and my daughter, I am resigned to staying at home alone (housework is not totally my thing).

Last week we stopped at the traffic light, on the sidewalk waiting to cross over. My son was a few millimeters too close to the road. I called out to him to move back as I was last in line, and he was at the front with pedestrians in between. As I was calling out, a bus came rushing past, it missed the front of his bicycle by an arm’s length. The driver hooted at him and I could feel the wind from the passing bus. My son’s one foot was clipped into the pedal so he was sort of attached to the bicycle. It was one of those moments that feel as though an angel was right there protecting my son. It still makes me shudder when I think of it.

Until.

Yesterday we went further than we should have. We went as far as my daughter and I could go, but then still had to make our way back. At one unknown point in the road we crossed over – my son and his dad ahead, my daughter and then myself (I’m always lagging behind). It was a slip road, and my daughter never crossed over directly, she was cycling diagonally over it. I was already on the other side. I thought to myself – she is on the road – and yelled out, get off the road! As I was calling out, I saw a bus appearing to be coming towards us. I watched my daughter continue cycling and make it to the side just as the bus hurtled past us, followed by another with neither seeming to have any indication of breaking.

My heart stopped in that moment. (Can’t even bear to think about it). I had to thank the Angel(s) again for keeping my family safe.

I woke up this morning with this moment in my head and had to say thanks once again. My children are safe. And they both so easily could not have been.

Where Are You?

image

Will I hear
Your voice again
Will I see
Your face once more
Will I look
Into your eyes so blue
Will I feel
Your arms so strong
Will I know
Your presence near
Will I ever
See you again
Will we always
Be apart?

Gone

image

The joy I felt
When you came into my life
Was nothing compared to
The pain I felt
When you left
In the darkness
I remember times we shared
You were here
And now you are gone
It cuts through me –
A hole in my soul

Stranger and Friend

It is a necessary evil to travel the elevators at my work, even though I am claustrophobic, I work on the fifth floor of a heritage-listed building, and we are not allowed access from the stairwell from the ground floor as it opens onto the road. I always hope that my elevator-journey will provide some company so as to calm me if the lift stops working. Today a random person entered, and chatted to me in an American accent all the way to level 4. Said person was really open and friendly. It felt like a breath of fresh air. Mostly when people enter the elevator, unless they are with someone when they do so, they don’t make conversation. In general. So to have someone enter and start chatting to me as if we were friends was really great. It made me think of all the beautiful WordPress writers who are so encouraging and supportive.

Thank you to all those who have shared some kindness around my world!