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Pushing People Away

Vonita 34 Comments

A kind friend mentioned in a comment here on WP that pushing people away is a defense mechanism. This thought has really stayed with me today. It is something that I tend to do. My face shows all my emotion. When I am happy, it shows. When I am sad, it shows. This morning a colleague friend of mine picked me out for having an angry face. One doesn’t have to look at your face for very long to know that something has made you angry, he told me. I am angry. I am angry that there are a few people that I have allowed to influence my emotion. And when I decide to take a stand, it feels liberating for a day or two, and after that I felt utter remorse. I feel angry for the way I deal with certain situations. Someone mentioned it is like I don’t trust in my own decision-making. And I don’t! Not at all. For I know that my decision today may come back to haunt me tomorrow. I push people away so that I will not get hurt. But in doing so, I get hurt anyway.

Everyone is so encouraging here on WordPress. I feel so much love and support and encouragement. It really lifts me up, thank you ❤

friend

Vonita 25 Comments

I’m not my friend

I’m my own enemy

I hate me

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/friend/

I’m Sorry

Vonita 9 Comments

I’m sorry
When I say words
I know I will regret
I’m sorry
When I lash out
And say what I want to say
The remorse overcomes
The sorrow drowns
The hurt pains
And I hate myself
Can I reverse the clock
Can I unsay the words
Can I undo the wounds
Can I be someone else
Anyone but me?

Daily Inspirations by Erika Kind

Vonita 8 Comments

On Saturday I received my much-anticipated 101 Kind Quotes  physical copy created by my dear friend Erika Kind from I’m Free. First up, I want to say how wonderful it is to be able to hold it in my hands and to browse through it freely. Each quote is set on an accompanying image and has Erika’s trademark butterfly presented on it. So much to inspire. And much about love. My favorites are those revolving around love “Love is the cause, the key, and the result. Love is all that is“. There are 101 quotes, so perfect for choosing one daily at random,  or to read in one sitting. I am really glad and thankful for this beautiful book, and for all the love that has gone into creating it.

Thank you Erika, for your wonderful community presence, and for all that you do for us. We love and appreciate you! ❤

 

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Outside

Vonita 16 Comments

window

Outside the window
I look upon
Trees of green
Clouds of sky
Lawns of grass
Cool air
Fresh breath
Other worlds
And freedom
From the chains
That bind me
Mercilessly
To my mind

 

In response to Daily Prompt: Window

 

Weakness in 6 Words

Vonita 38 Comments

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In my weakness, You give strength

And on a personal note:

I do not write under a pseudonym. My name is my name, and I am writing in a public space. So just to say:

My blog is a place where I allow my soul to express itself. I do not edit very much, if at all. I allow my fingers to type and what is typed, that is what I post. Some of my poetry is drawn from past experiences, life situations, hopes, dreams, desires, wishes. Not all of it is auto-biographical. Or of recent times. It is just what it is. At the moment I am going through a difficult time. Trying to create a new me. And some of the old is hard to let go. It is hard to change. It is hard to create a new something. Whatever that may be.

Thank you for reading ❤

 

Consequence

Vonita 14 Comments

 

image

I went to a house party on Friday night

On Saturday I steam-cleaned the dirty floor

 

(because BFF’s house, and she was outside cleaning alcohol remnants and broken glass and birthdays in Sydney, so I made myself useful (doesn’t happen often), and steam cleaned the floor that really needed a steam clean, yay me, and I don’t drink except one glass of wine per month, okay maybe per week LOL).

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/dirty/