Grace

May 1, 2016May 1, 2016Vonita 8 Comments

Protected by grace
Against backdrops of the wise
Fresh hope springs to life

Yellow Orange

April 30, 2016Vonita 2 Comments

Feeling Helpless

April 30, 2016April 30, 2016Vonita 14 Comments

One of the worst things living in a far away place is simply that. A far away place. Too far to simply hop in the car, and check up on a loved one. Being at the mercy of friends and family who may or may not be able to do so upon request. Today I needed to check up on a close relative. My initial two points-of-call were logistically not able to. And then came a long series of who to call, what to ask, how to manage, what to assume etc. I have a close friend whom I grew up with in apartheid South Africa. I am fair-skinned, she is dark. We were only able to become friends because we attended a catholic school, and they had permission to enrol mixed race. My friend used to stay with us sometimes on the weekend or when it was too hard to get back to her home in Soweto. I contacted her, please friend. Before I could say another word she was in her car and on her way. I got this, she told me. I love her so much. I love that friendship is color-blind. I love that true friends remain true. Now to wait for her to be my eyes for me, and to be a presence for me. To tell me the truth.

Curves

April 30, 2016April 30, 2016Vonita 7 Comments

Your hands
Traced the
Softness
Of my body.
Your lips
Kissed each
Running
Contour.
I was your
Woman
And yielded
My curves
To you.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/curve/

Red Wine

April 29, 2016April 30, 2016Vonita 4 Comments

Makes me blush! Omigoodness, I had a half-glass of wine after work today, and then got caught up chatting to some people. Including my manager. And only realized afterwards that red wine *really* makes me blush. How embarrassing. My face was red like a – what? Red balloon? Red tomato? Red sunburnt face? Red blushing Vonita? I don’t know. I just know my face was red. And it gets worse. I was giggling. At what I don’t know. No more half-glasses of red wine for me. This is terrible.

Recognition

April 29, 2016April 29, 2016Vonita 11 Comments

I love recognition. It is one of those personality shortcomings of mine that I wish I didn’t have. I love to be recognized for the work I do. It is a motivator for me. Not that it has happened for a while (and that in itself is frustrating). Friends of mine are not like that. They get given a job to do, and get on with it. Leave the recognition for those that are caught up with it. Somewhere inside it feels like I have a point to prove. I was like that at school, and it has never really left. I had a point to prove then. I had a speech impediment, and was considered a ‘special needs’ child. Rejection caused me to seek approval.

But what point do I still have to prove? That I can do the job? I know I can (um, with a bit of help and tenacity, maybe). I am smart? Sometimes I am, and sometimes it passes me by (cue the pano shot story I wrote about). Math and numbers are easy for me, so I know I am smart there.

My focus is all on the wrong things. Perhaps I should use some solitude to embrace being me. With no recognition required! There is no me like me (thank goodness for that, one of me I think is enough).