
I have no point to prove
Wish there was more to say
Or even more to share
But I have no words
To say to you
The hurt runs deep and wide
Like blood flowing through my veins
It never goes away
I’ve learnt the lesson
Will live to tell

I have no point to prove
Wish there was more to say
Or even more to share
But I have no words
To say to you
The hurt runs deep and wide
Like blood flowing through my veins
It never goes away
I’ve learnt the lesson
Will live to tell

Today I felt pain
A trigger of hurt
Cutting through my heart
My eyes welled up
The tears began to form
So I closed my eyes
And encouraged myself –
I am alive and
So I feel.
Good, sad, happy, bad.
And I am loved.
I had a need
An aching pain
To feel a love
Through sun and rain.
My cup’s o’erflowing
My need is filled
And now I dream
Of peace and still.
Not me
Not now
Not ever
Glitter and gowns
Petals and stem
Diamond and rings
Lovers and hearts
The setting and stone
I wait alone
I wait for you
Surrounded by silence
And thoughts so blue
Where are you
Where could you be?
Do you know I’m here
Do you think of me?
Broken hearts and
Broken lives.
Falling tears,
Falling apart.
Misunderstandings
And confusion.
It’s a broken
Hurting world.

My late mil (mother-in-law) often used to start her sentences with ‘the main thing is’. Followed by what the main thing would be for that particular day.
A few years back I went through an experience that broke me. My children were both young, my daughter was one year and a bit. My husband was on a contract in Melbourne, and I was alone with my children in Johannesburg. I was alone.
I went through an experience that broke my soul. That changed how I think about things. How I see the world and people. And left me with a wound. On a deeper, more spiritual level. I was left floundering, pained, hurt, wounded.
I am still trying to heal that wound. I am still seeking validation outside of me. I am still looking to others to validate me. And I realized today I don’t need others to validate me. I don’t need to look outside myself. I don’t need to fulfill the expectations that others might have of me. I don’t need to fill shoes that others have decided I should fill.
And it so clearly came to mind, the main thing is:
I am me, and I am okay.