Cloaked in a sheen of
Vulnerability.
Obscuring hidden scars unseen
Before a blinking eye –
Or shocked murmur could
Escape.
Her cloth was yanked aside
Exposed!
Not everything was lost.
For past the steaming horror
Of uninvited eyes
A tapestry of beauty
Expressions of life and colour and love and pain and strife
Quietly shyly
But with a growing confidence
Emerged.
I gave myself
For cheap slivers of silver
I sold myself
To the lowest bidder
I fought a weakness that is too
Strong
I battled a nature I could not
Quell
Before I could trip my own self up I simply –
I simply gave it all up
I simply and hopelessly
Fell.
Alone I sit
Conflicting thoughts for company
I hear the laughter I hear the sounds
Of lovers, partners, friend and family
While fish in ponds before me splash
I breathe the air I breathe the peace
I exhale those longings that take hold
With a merciless strangulation
Around my soul
I exhale it all.
At the very edge I sit
As the streaming waters flow
Reflections of the day abound
Settling on a rippled plain
Moon and stars share their
Glistening lights below
Caressing my heart
My mind
My soul
A thought
As tiny as a thought can be
Popped alive and into being
A thought of you
Gained strength and speed
Intwined its limbs and wrapped itself
Around my hapless
Helpless craving
A thought of you
Devoured the whole of
Me and in its wake I was left with nothing
More than a wafting scented dream of
You
Each day I longed to walk with you
To share each drop of finite time
Your hands your face your touch I feel
It’s written on my stolen heart
This heart of steel I thought I had
Is nothing more than molten stream
Of pain and hurt and loss and want
I empty all myself of you.
Cast my heart anew of gold.
Capture my dream
Vivid vibrant emotions of night
Where desires catch alight
Angers flare and tears fall and everyone
Even souls long gone are alive
Capture my dream
Before dawning reality
Descends and the illusion
Ends
Jagged edges slice our skin
While shining in the glistening sun
Our trust will be in vain dear friend
All hope will be undone
These jagged edges of our lives
Tattoo our hearts with scars
Slow years will pass until we see
Our scars are tapestried.
Clearly I was not meant for you
Clearly you were not meant for me
Clearly we were not meant to be
But oh my love I loved you so
You stole my heart
I loved you so.
She’s not gone it cannot be
Oh my mother don’t leave me
You birthed me loved me helped me grow
We argued fought but even so
You’re my mom you cannot go
From this realm, please say you won’t!
But now you’ve left I’m all alone
All alone I need my mom
I need my mom to care for me
I need my mom to help me be
She is gone I’m so alone.
Poems and Petals 