I will
Dive
Down
Deep
Past
All my fears
My insecurities
My failures
I will
Swim
Through all my
Layers
Until I reach
That tiny
Hidden place
Of
Love
And acceptance
And peace
I will breathe it all in
And bring it to the
Surface
To shine.
Category poetry
Betrayal
I entered the room and saw him sitting on my bed. His face stony and humorless. Before I could wonder, my eyes dropped to the book in his hands. My book. My journal. Expressing my most intimate thoughts and feelings and desires. Recorded by my own hand. By myself and only for myself. You’ve betrayed me, he accused me glaringly. I can’t believe what you have written.
I apologized for the evil in me. I cried and pleaded and wished it away.
Only now do I realize:
He betrayed me.
A Coldness
I accelerated as fast as I could. I needed to get to him before it was too late. The thick heavy gates could be closed and there would be no way in. I sat at the wheel and urged myself to go faster. Faster! After a lifetime had passed, I pulled up at the entrance. He was there! I ran to him and pleaded. I’m so sorry for anything I may have done. Please forgive me. Please love me. All shreds of dignity vanished along with the day as I presented myself to him. With a coldness that pained me more than any scolding could ever do, he told me to leave and never return. It’s over.
Over.
A Written Wrath
I was only a child, really, with a right to be protected. Cherished even. Before I could blink, my head whipped back as my neck rotated. My young skin etched with a searing pain. I was pushed into complicity and wished my life away. Not yet double digits of age and already the wrath of man written on me. A fear of man’s temper and what it can do.
Left to Die
‘Don’t make me beg’, I pleaded as I began a descent of neediness that had no way out and only a descent of anguish and despair.
‘Lift me please’, I begged in my helplessness and hopelessness.
There was no compassion.
I was left to die.
An Emptiness
I try to cling on to a hazy puff of smoke; but as I watch the trail breeze into the wind and away from me, I know that I am getting what I deserve, an infinity of emptiness, and it is everything I deserve.
Deathly Silence
‘Just a kind word’, I begged him to say
His silence that ricocheted back to my ears
And heart and eyes sliced through me
I was diced in every which way.
Suffocation
At times it feels as though I have too much love to give, that my heart has limitless boundaries, when the irony is, the endless oceans are trashed with discarded plastic that suffocates my every breath.
Wicked
“Don’t leave me”, I whispered as I clung
To him, my desperation a rotten disgusting
Odor that turned him away even more.
“What do you expect”, my accusing cruel
Mind taunted back at me. Everyone you
Ever loved were never able to love you
Back. And those that truly love you, you
Are destined to never love. You are that
Wicked.
Abandoned
“Please love me”, I wanted to cry when
You walked away and did not
Glance back at where I was
Standing, naked and alone.
My tears – an avalanche of
Saltwater – pooled around my
Aching heart, and before I knew
It, and before I could even attempt
To stop or control it, I yielded to my
Pain. I lay down and sobbed.
Poems and Petals 