The Black Dog

The sun is rising

And yet it’s dark

The birds are singing

And still it’s stark

The sky is grey

When it should be blue

l feel I should be happy

But no, I’m like old glue

Yet life should be joyful

I gave so much

Yet the vacuum is imposing

I am my own crutch

The black dog is relentless

So insistent to be pattered

Another day has gone

It’s like it never mattered

(Anonymous Poet)

A New Start

Back in the day (Jan 2008) I started a new job. My first position in Sydney and on the bus trip in, I spent a moment in reflection. What were my dreams, my goals, my ambition. What did I want to achieve?

I wanted to make friends. I wanted to achieve, and to be noticed and to be acknowledged. I wanted to belong.

I met one of my best friends through that job (a friend of a wife of a colleague). I achieved inasmuch as I could. I belonged to a fair extent. And spent ten years in that position. Before I finally had the courage to admit that I had achieved everything I could, and it was time for change.

This past year has been that time of change. Leaving comfortable environments. Pushing myself. Discovering who I am and what I stand for. Being tested under adversity. How will I react? Will I crumble or will I rise. Do I have what it takes. Can I fight and face my fears.

Today I start again. And my focus has changed. It is not on being noticed and acknowledged and being ‘liked’. My focus is on giving. On creating and producing and achieving. On being the best I can be. To provide my strengths the room to grow, to strengthen, to shine. I’ve discovered talents I never knew I had. I’ve discovered creativity. I have tenacity. I have drive. I have passion.

Whatever may come, whatever time I have left, I will be the best version of myself that I can be.

Where Are You?

I reach my hand to touch your face

And find your face not there

I long to trace your fingertips –

Your hands are nowhere near

I wish to look into your eyes

And meet your soul with mine

Your image haunts my every dream!

I want to shout and scream

Where are you, in this world?

All I have are thoughts

And sweet reminders of the times

We touched and loved and kissed

I hunger now for you, my love

The memories have to fill

That aching void that never goes

It stays with me through all.