La La Land

I ventured out of the scorching heat last night to take my friend’s mother and myself to see La La Land. I noticed beforehand that it was from the same director of Whiplash. (Which I watched earlier this year as it is on the list of ‘1001 movies to watch before you die’, and I am working my way down the list, currently at about number 8). So I knew not to expect the boring, cliche, Hollywood ending. Which means I wasn’t surprised when I didn’t get it. Was I disappointed? Yes! I still want and expect a boring, cliche Hollywood ending.

With that said, I loved the movie, I loved the beginning, I loved the dresses, I love Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling. It doesn’t hurt that I am tone deaf so have no idea on the quality of their singing, it all sounded just fine to me. 

I loved one of the audition songs she sang:

She told me:

A bit of madness is key

to give us to color to see

Who knows where it will lead us?


And that’s why they need us,

So bring on the rebels

The ripples from pebbles

The painters, and poets, and plays


And here’s to the fools who dream

Crazy, as they may seem

Here’s to the hearts that break

Here’s to the mess we make


And I really, really love the green dress and matching pendant she wore in the cinema, breathtakingly beautiful!

My Name is Vonita

I had the wonderful fortune of landing a part time job in my last year of school. I worked four hours on a Saturday morning for a local optometrist. Technically, I was not the best candidate as the receptionist position required the person to be bilingual (English and Afrikaans). In those days towards the end of apartheid South Africa, there were many people who spoke Afrikaans and Afrikaans only. Whilst I can certainly understand Afrikaans being spoken and can hold a basic conversation kindergarten level, I can hardly say I am fluent (or even sound half-normal speaking it). But good fortune prevailed and I got the job. As an aside, it was a life-saver. The four hours per week paid well, and covered all my university pocket money expenses, driving lessons, and part of my last years tuition. Without taking focus away from my studies.

The optometrist was a tall man. He also lectured at the local university. At that stage I attended a convent, had minimal male interaction (at all), and found him totally, completely intimidating. Being a man and all. And a big, tall, older one at that. And an important one. His wife ran the practice and she was the one who hired me. She was lovely. Grace personified. One of my duties was to make hot black tea, and lemon, and serve it to her husband in his office. I must have appeared as a timid little mouse. I hardly said a word to him, would deliver the tea and escape. One day I spilt the tea in the saucer. It happened just as I was about to place it down. I didn’t know what to do. I placed it down. He kindly gave it back to me and told me to bring a new one. The tea would would drip on his desk and papers and he couldn’t have that. I apologized, took the cup and saucer and returned with a new one. Unspilt. Dry saucer. Yay! (And I never made that same mistake).

I must have been working there for a good few months. One morning I took the tea into his office. He thanked me, but addressed me with the wrong name. Thank you, Michelle. Michelle was the person who worked there previously. In that moment, I managed to rise above my feelings of intimidation, and overcome my shyness. I thought to myself, just say welcome. Easy, then leave, exit the office. Instead I replied

You’re welcome. 

And. 

My name is Vonita.

Night

A still dark night

Leaves me alone 

To ponder thoughts,

My fears.

Consumed by anxiety 

I hear the buzz of silence –

That hum when all is still 

A connection, maybe 

With the world that cannot be seen

The dimension that is above

The natural world 

Where our loved ones wait

Patiently to welcome us 

And outside a cricket 

Chirps.

I Love You


I love you in darkness

I love you in light

I love you in daytime

And all through the night

I love you in winter

I love you in fall

I love you in summer 

And right through it all –

You are the one for me

You help my heart mend

I love you forever

I love you, my friend

Cee’s Which Way Challenge


Down to the sand and sea!

Cee’s Which Way Photo Challenge – December 28, 2016

enough

it wasn’t enough

that i had all i ever dreamed of

it wasn’t enough

that i had

a partner

a child

a home

it wasn’t enough

that i was always employed

always healthy

always having a place to go

it wasn’t enough

that i never had

one day of hunger

one night of cold

one day of heat

one night of wanting

one day of going without

the heart is always hungry

always wanting

always craving

always demanding

always seeking

always dreaming

always wishing

nothing was

nothing is

nothing ever will be

Enough.