Facade

Vonita

I have an RBF. Apparently. Resting bitch face. I remember reading an article once on the every day lives of men and women. Women are expected to smile more and look pleasant. I have observed this in the workplace too. If a woman doesn’t smile often she is deemed miserable. But the same does not apply to her male colleagues. I have never been able to wear a facade. If I’m happy,I look happy. If I’m sad, I look sad. Stressed, looked stressed. Etc. My RBF doesn’t help though. Sometimes I am feeling just fine, but because I’m not smiling, I have a demeanor that may keep others at a distance. I don’t mean to though!

Here’s me looking happy 🙂

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31 thoughts on “Facade”

  3. I hate it when I’m walking along the street, thinking about normal stuff, and an aquaitance walks by and says “Smile, it may never happen.”
    What makes me really angry is that it already has happened, but I’m refusing to think about it.
    Love yourpost 🙂

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    1. Thanks for reading! The article I read was written by a woman who spent a week undercover as a man, and the main observation she made was how she was able to smile so much less, and it is so true!

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      1. I’ve never really thought about it, but, thinking about it now, I can see you’re right.
        Is it because we want to make people happy? Because we’re expected to, and we don’t like to dissapoint? Because we’re manipulated into the habit? It’s an interesting question which ‘m sure a lot of feminist would like the answer to.
        I have a neice whose hair is naturally blonde. When she died it dark brown, people showed her more respect, and treated her as if she was more intelligent.
        I know that’s a different subject, but it’s interesting, if a bit obvious.

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      3. Ofcourse, all sorts of factors affect the way others see us, including the colour of our clothes.
        Grrr – why didn’t I take an interest in this when I was young? It could have changed my life 🙂

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      4. I always used to dress in browns, beiges and muted colors. Then when I was 35 and moved to Sydney, and older woman I met took me shopping and dressed me in colors. All bright ones I normally wouldn’t have worn. Now I’m used to it! 🙂

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      6. Not sure if I was trying to be invisible, perhaps just not trying to attract attention, so maybe? My sister is the same. I encouraged her to buy a red dress but she preferred the muted grey. Now I wear colours though!

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      7. I love colours. I used to often wear khaki until my doctor advised me not to – she noticed I always put it on when I’m depressed, and it probably makes me worse. She wears red when she’s feeling low, as it cheers her up.
        I wish she hadn’t retired early – a doc who prescribes colour instead of drugs is a good thing 🙂

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  5. I totally get what you are saying. When I am thinking or just being, I tend to not smile. Obviously. I would look like a psycho were I to sit and smile at nothing the whole day right? But people take it as a sign to stay away. As if that’s my personal DND sign. I think if I were to smile all the time, that is when they would be smarter not approaching me!

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  7. Bitches what wrong about bitches.? 😀

    Had once a female colleague who mentioned another female colleague as a bitch – I replied “Thanks for the recommendation, you’re right – she looks like a wonderful witch” – then she never called the other a bitch again… 😀

    In the year of 2016, both men and women can be able to decide for themselves when they wanted to smile or not – presumed expectations of what others do expecting directed at us, often makes troubles – my feeling is that women are generally do speculate more about what others say about us than men do.?

    I my self always looks at the eyes of others – after meeting a new person, so I always remember their eyes (male or female) but rarely remember their dress… 😀

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  9. As a man, I’ve learned not to expect anything out of women—smiles nor anything else. I just take them for what they are, or what they present to me. Right or wrong, if they smile, I assume they’re happy, unless it’s a put-on smile. Then I know they’re hiding a lot of pain or anger or some other negative emotion. Happy people just don’t wear put-on smiles.

    As to color of clothes, I’ve notice that people in general tend toward bright, cheery clothing. I grew up wearing one-color clothes, speaking of shirts, trending toward some shade of blue or whatever my parents bought me. LOL Now, I still tend toward muted colors, but I do have some bright shirts and lots of patterned shirts. Although shirts I wear when attending church services tend toward the one color variety, but not always, but stay around the bluish theme. Blue just happens to be my favorite color. I don’t think I wore jeans until I was in my 30’s.

    Au contraire to at least one comment, I have noticed women, more than men, give other women the once over, you know, the up and down, checking out the wearables. However, I haven’t noticed those I deem happy doing this. They’re more eye to eye contact when approaching other women, or even men.

    Anyway, it was an interesting post and the comments were quite revealing as well. The reason I’m even here, Vonita, is because I wanted to see what kind of person punches Like on my Cee’s B&W Photo Challenge. Thanks for stopping by. Have a great day.

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